Intimacy: Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend... - FML

By sore - 04/01/2010 11:30 - France

Spicy

Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 758

You deserved it 3 871

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Bittie

By Alwayspotato - 11/07/2020 05:02

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend, he had his head on my chest and we both fell asleep. Suddenly, I woke up by my boyfriend biting my nipple, hard, in his sleep. I now need to go to the pharmacy because of a bleeding nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 530

You deserved it 154

By Indianagirl94 - 29/10/2012 22:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 682

You deserved it 3 376

By goldie09 - 18/02/2010 17:36 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 781

You deserved it 5 222

By Snufflopagus - 01/01/2014 13:26 - United States - Lynnwood

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 450

You deserved it 10 579

By omgboobs - 23/12/2009 02:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he thinks that they look like giant zits, and when he squeezes them, he imagines them popping pus. He then reached for my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 919

You deserved it 2 768

By Noname - 10/03/2009 18:52 - United States

Spicy

Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 422

You deserved it 92 237

By Elise - 28/04/2012 23:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 526

You deserved it 4 580

Meow!

By patronuscat? - 05/10/2017 01:30

Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 617

You deserved it 1 059

Ow ow ow

By too much pain - 28/06/2023 10:00

Spicy

Today, a few days after getting my nipples repierced, my man initiated sex. Normally, I love it when he's a little rough on my tits, and I guess he forgot about my not-entirely-healed nips. Let's just say sex ended REAL fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 444

Cool move, dude

By Anonymous - 09/12/2010 09:47 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 642

You deserved it 4 260

Next

Top comments

lucifer69_fml 0

Monday 4 January 2010 16:10

YDI for having nipples

NeonWar__ 0

Monday 4 January 2010 16:16

wow. ouch. You must be a heavy sleeper if you can sleep through someone playing with your nipples so hard it actually bruises them! lol

Comments

kkmonster93 0

Friday 11 March 2011 4:07

I have the same problem my boobs are dark purple I look like I'm wearing a strapless purple bra :(

cambroulay 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 10:56

Okaaay so you're an extremely deep sleeper if someone excessively playing with your nipples doesnt wake you up,

AstroWatermelon 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 7:42

so you go to bed naked?

Ruby246 0

Friday 22 July 2011 21:02

ummm.... ok?

NeonBubblez 6

Monday 29 August 2011 3:42

Ummm. Either tell him to stop, get a life, and get some sleep or break up with him. And well..if your stubborn, go ahead, wake up with sore nipples almost every damn morning...

woopdattrick 5

Wednesday 7 September 2011 14:45

Even if you were asleep, if he plays with them that hardcore how could you not feel it?

Caitycandid 2

Thursday 6 October 2011 7:16

I can relate.... mine usually feel as if they have been mauled by a tiger when I wake up D:

cburke9 7

Friday 28 October 2011 20:53

thats actually a compliment, you should be happy that he cant take his hands off you

Stan_Cubed 7

Monday 9 January 2012 0:03

Purple nurple

ambersmummy 0

Saturday 24 March 2012 8:14

Hmmm sounds a little bit rapey

5
6
7
8
9

Keywords

Relatable Public freakouts Health Music Geek Scams Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Transportation Bikes Cops Fight Kids Family AITA Mother in law Miscellaneous Social Media Relationship advice Love Work Art Students Birds Sleep Noise Animals Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landlady's horn did I see another roommate's girlfriend's car; she stayed overnight and isn't allowed to. Both roomies got evicted and blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 91

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 66

The Top

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 069

You deserved it 6 532

Today, I was sucking on a candy and I began choking. A coworker rushed over to give me the Heimlich maneuver. That freed the candy from my throat, and also the shit from my bowels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 496

You deserved it 2 361

Today, my little sister, who's still in high school, proved beyond a doubt she's better at my computer repair job than I am. She proved it in front of my customers and my manager, who brushed me aside and offered her a job as soon as she graduates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 753

You deserved it 1 079

Today, my mother told me that for a period when I was a baby, every night she stood over my crib with a bottle of bourbon and a gun, convincing herself not to shoot me for ruining her life by being born when she was only 18. I wish I could be more like my siblings, who don't visit her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 100

You deserved it 139

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 902

You deserved it 38 025

Today, I got lost in a foreign city while on vacation and couldn't communicate with anyone, because I didn't speak the language and no one seemed to be able, or even wanted, to speak to me in mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 971