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I saw mommy - doing nasty unspeakable things to - santa claus~ underneath the mistletoe last night...

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15, if I remember the statistics right the average sex session is between 8 and 10 minutes. Are you one of these people that HAS to go on for longer? I'm not sure if I speak for all women and men but some of us enjoy quick sessions so we don't want it to last half an hour EVERY time. :)

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But we know that the mother is drunk. The quote itself is supposed to be used as a joke. By putting a "joke" (as you call it) within that joke, you're going all Leonardo DiCaprio on it and making my head spin.

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and besides, it's sorta depressing to see your mother like that in what is supposed to be a happy day...

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Yeah, everyone knows a normal Christmas is when you are surrounded by family members you don't know other than them being at Christmas parties and children crying because they didn't get what they wanted. Give or take a few drunken uncles of course.

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The drunken uncles in my family don't show up at Christmas. They show up at funerals. And then have a fistfight on the front lawn. Not joking.

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