Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine....

By Anonymous - 27/12/2009 03:09 - Canada

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 518

You deserved it 71 416

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/10/2016 13:17 - United Kingdom - Maidstone

Today, I woke up to find my face covered in scratches, some of them bleeding. I was rather puzzled, as I don't have a cat. Then I realised that the feathers in my pillow had stuck out and scratched my face. I was attacked by my own pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 342

You deserved it 1 136

By imawesomeokay - 20/07/2013 05:53 - Mexico - Zapopan

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 230

You deserved it 10 954

Panic!

By sweetdreams - 18/09/2016 06:39 - United States - New York

Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 772

You deserved it 1 402

By breeeeeh - 21/06/2013 22:18 - France - Brou-sur-chantereine

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 679

You deserved it 69 923

By girlymae - 27/02/2013 07:59 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I was in bed when I rolled over and saw a hand right beside my head. I freaked out and nearly peed myself, just to realize that it was the huggable heart pillow my boyfriend had given to me on Valentine's Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 453

You deserved it 24 021

By Anonymous - 24/08/2016 14:26

Today, I woke up to my husband's face. That'd be nice if he hadn't turned his eyelids inside out, waiting to scare me. I was scared alright. So scared that I pissed myself and broke my side table falling out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 283

You deserved it 1 460

By Secretlypossessed - 29/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 962

You deserved it 276

By SoVeryMonday - 30/11/2009 18:01 - Canada

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 152

You deserved it 9 520

Didn't see ya there

By AylaMarie92 - 09/11/2021 13:59

Today, like every other day, I suffer from insomnia. On returning to the bedroom after a very late night shower to hopefully get some rest, I sat on my cat. I jumped up quickly and smacked my face against the cupboard. I then looked back to see if she was OK. I'd sat on my Squishmallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 302

By Anonymous - 03/01/2010 16:35 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM, and I'd just finished watching a scary movie, so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep, when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 559

You deserved it 29 176

caancoha 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 9:06

Oh, look. He's watching you sleep.

IMB916 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 9:16

YDI for having such bad taste in men.

Comments

emilybock 0

Monday 28 December 2009 7:23

hahahaha made my dayy

glamorousdays 0

Monday 28 December 2009 7:51

YDI for having a Robert Pattinson pillowcase.

jaysaysss 0

Monday 28 December 2009 8:05

HARRY POTTER IS WAY ******* BETTER BITCHES (: twilight and iandrea can suck itt hardcore

Breeneefml12 0

Monday 28 December 2009 8:06

ydi for liking ugly,hairy,pale,STD filled men

Firesprite2009 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 4:53

He is rather hairy, isn't he? He's like one of the men you'd expect to see back in prehistoric times.

Kexat 0

Monday 28 December 2009 9:01

Ok, YDI. Not for liking Twilight (as terrible as it really is), but because you put a person's face on your pillows. I'm sorry, but could you not see this coming a mile away? Doesn't matter how hot you find someone (but seriously, RPats? EW!), at 3am when you're half asleep, if there's a face by you, you WILL FREAK OUT!

Kexat 0

Monday 28 December 2009 9:05

Well, scratch that, YDI is a bit harsh since it probably hurt like a mofo, but seriously? It is a pretty dumb thing to do.

chicken_lover 2

Monday 28 December 2009 9:46

have you guys noticed that every comment about twilight being aweeeeesummmmm!@$@!$!@$%% has been moderated? haha. well anyway, i think sleeping with a pillow that any face on it is creepy. like really? get a boyfriend. and i agree that robert pattinson is ugly, but that's beside the point. just don't sleep with pillows that have faces or you will be terrified when you are half asleep. i hope you feel better though. :)

EatMyCrayonz 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 0:47

indeed

ihateme2 0

Monday 28 December 2009 10:08

get a life. get a boyfriend. robert pattinson's fricking ugly. ppl just started liking him cuz he was edward cullen. if they used your dad as the actor, ppl would start ******* over him too.