By xBubbles38 - 18/07/2011 15:17 - United States

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 952
You deserved it 6 274

Same thing different taste

Top comments

be careful when she steps outside—she might start to sparkle.

Bring her in the sun and ask her to explain why she is not sparkling like a glorious homosexual!

Comments

be careful when she steps outside—she might start to sparkle.

before u know it shell be sneaking out at night to watch people sleep.

43 - yes, Santa. "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake.."

jus let her believe it till she drinks some blood then watch her puke every were

"he sees you when your sleeping, he knows when your awake, his name is Edward Cullen, and he's here to get you raped". xD

lovelydarlings 6

I had a sparkly experience once. This lotion I had had tiny sparkles in it and I didn't see it until I went outside to the pool. I totally felt like a vampire haha.

actually there are such things as vampires, they just aren't like Edward Cullen- they are just people who drink blood- no they dont bite people. but I love the taste of blood

Sparkling in the sun is still a sign that she's not a vampire. If the sun nearly killed her, that would be a sign that she was.

246- your welcome, I made an account just for that comment .

mano47 0

then she'll have to clean it up hahaha

#122 rotflol zomygosh!!!!!! thts the funniest sh*t I ever seen!!!! tht just made my nite!!!!hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

#258 my bf is like that it's called bloodlust .... motha****** doesn't sparkle or look like Edward cullen lmao oh well love his nerdy ass ne way

that's what twilight will do to you! it's awful really...

I wish my parents supported me like OP supports her kids

how is OP supporting the kids? hes trying to crush the little girls dream of becoming a vampire.

doglover100 28

Twilight ruined the image of vampires. Also Edward isn't real why do people think he is?

gTOtheT 7

team Jacob!!!!!!!!!

cocofruity123 0

Team Van Helsing! (Peter Cushing FTW!)

you guys are all wrong it's team Damon :)

Team, Enough of the God Damn Vampire Books Where One(Or Two) of the Vampires Fall in Love with a Feeble, Irritating Girl, and Glitter in the Sunlight, or Need Special Rings to be in the Sunlight(Or just any vampire that doesn't burn in the sun, I guess)

33.no,team REAL MEN DONT SPARKLE LIKE FRICKEN PIXIES!!!

I'm team whoever/whatever-is-trying-to-kill-Bella-right-now.

cre8or99 0
tacocannon99 5
DeathMaple 3

Team guy who almost hit Bella with a van.

agaba 0

team shut the **** up twilight sucks

agaba 0

team shut the **** up twilight sucks

agaba 0

team shut the **** up twilight sucks

agaba 0

team shut the **** up twilight sucks

agaba 0

team shut the **** up twilight sucks

gTOtheT 7

wow I got a lot of thumbs down and on my first day on this website!!!!!!

MsMeiriona 2

No, Team Harry "The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault" Dresden, he of the zombie t-rex! Polka will never die!

Team guy who almost hit Bella with his car!

itsgen 16

which is why alot of "real" men suck in life

Team Edward bitch. No. Vampires suck gets the story right (y)

turkishjew 0

twilight series you're definatly a man when u sparkle in the sunlight I'm on team bellas a hermaphrodite

#200 Harry Potter was AWESOME!!!! deathly hallows part 1 sucks B@lls though :/

381. nobody likes sparkling men that can pass off as pixies.

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

Team Sookie from True Blood xD

Team Vampires Suck because the girl in that movie acted better than Bella ever did. **** Twilight.

RocketNinjaFish 12
bryce0110 23

Team Kristen Stewart did a horrible job acting as bella

cocofruity123 0

well when she's older and gets into puberty she won't be to excited about blood then

Puberty for girls usually starts at 8 and ends at 12... shes 13

#7 I agree with you, but this time it's hurting others so it needs to stopped.

kateheartswaffle 0

yeah that's definitely not ******* weird that a THIRTEEN year old is pretending to be a vampire... O_o

iLoveBoobies21 0

48, I'm not saying all girls do, but by age 13 most girls are going through/starting puberty already.

Well, shes 13... an age where she SHOULD know that she is NOT a vampire.

Shes a 13 year old, she should know vampires don't exist

saraheve1188 5
CommonSenseKarma 17

I'm sure cow's blood will snap her away from her fantasy. Is your husband Hannibal Lecter?

Who's been biting your daughter I wonder....

wouldn't it be nice if retards didn't reproduce

Anyone with two digit I.Q.'s should be legally required to submit to sterilization.

What about 1 digit IQs? Am I still in the clear?

kateheartswaffle 0

That kid should be sterilized. wait.. no need for that! she's stupid and won't marry/reproduce with anyone but edward! problem solved.

Blackhandles 0

I'm sensing anger in these three...

DKjazz 20

The actual average intelligence quotient is 100, thus the name quotient. Therefore, half the human race would go extinct, the stupider half. The IQ test would have to be updated to compensate, and another half will be sterilized, and so on. In short, UNNATURAL SELECT FTW!!!!!!1!

140- your logic may seem okay, but he said anyone with double digit IQs, not the lower half. So no it is not an unending paradox.

DKjazz 20

Ah, touché. Then again, somebody with a single-digit IQ wouldn't last very long in the real world.

you need an I.Q. of at least fifty in order to eat or breath. if you have a single digit I.Q. than your essentially either dead or an ameoba.

you need an I.Q. of at least fifty in order to eat or breath. if you have a single digit I.Q. than your essentially either dead or an ameoba.

friedpwnadge 25

I was the 100th like. You're welcome, OCD people.