Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When...

By Anonymous - 23/10/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 267

You deserved it 4 592

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Same thing different taste

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 949

You deserved it 4 785

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 015

You deserved it 2 642

Added protein

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 00:30

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 176

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 085

You deserved it 3 651

Minty freshness

By Sergie - 04/06/2010 09:28 - Ireland

Today, I was getting ready for my first day at work. Right before leaving the house I brushed my teeth thoroughly one more time to have a fresh breath. While cleaning my tongue, I went too far, which made me throw up. I was 20 minutes late for work. Good start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 198

You deserved it 28 363

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 276

You deserved it 3 661

By foxbrat - 11/10/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 226

You deserved it 3 295

By laurenmichela - 12/10/2015 21:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 630

You deserved it 2 096

By Sarah-grace - 17/05/2016 22:20 - United States - Benton

Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 798

You deserved it 1 506

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 535

You deserved it 237

DinosaursAreCool_fml 8

Sunday 23 October 2011 19:19

That's nasty (Cleveland voice)

shellzy 20

Sunday 23 October 2011 19:19

Oh god...I just threw up a little. Cockroach free at least.

Comments

darkangel06 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 20:16

Wow thats gross

GraceKathryn97 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 20:17

I woulda died immediately! I swear I almost cried reading this FML!

BeBeast2323 1

Sunday 23 October 2011 20:18

Ewwwwwwwwwwww! I stepped on a cockroach in my bare feet once.

2ndSucks 15

Sunday 23 October 2011 20:22

Thanks for telling us.

ptrasc1 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 23:01

Who cares?

chelseaaababyyy 17

Sunday 23 October 2011 20:18

you are if you're any good at it..

kinda_crazy 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 20:22

Oh my God! That's disgusting!!!!

chokolatecandie1 6

Sunday 23 October 2011 20:24

ewwww that is gross...

nettsm 1

Sunday 23 October 2011 20:27

thats so ****** up its not even funny....

Late_night83 25

Sunday 23 October 2011 20:30

Disgusting.

ajmacrae 5

Sunday 23 October 2011 20:31

Sounds like something strait outta AHHH real monsters!

kcastillo 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 20:32

That's disgusting

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 92 794

You deserved it 16 308

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I agree, your life sucks 56 130

You deserved it 5 932

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 10 106

You deserved it 46 209

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I agree, your life sucks 5 981

You deserved it 1 756

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I agree, your life sucks 1 247

You deserved it 631

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I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 105

Today, for the first time in months, I wore my naturally curly hair instead of straightening it. Later on at work, a customer pointed at my hair and said, "Look, Bellatrix fucked a poodle." All my coworkers laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 748

You deserved it 142

Today, after the fourth time telling my roommate I'm highly allergic to her scented products, I came back to find all 6 of our wall outlets using Glade plug-ins. They were set to high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 098

You deserved it 2 214

Same thing different taste

Added protein

Minty freshness

Wardrobe change please

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