Love: Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in... - FML

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 405

You deserved it 19 716

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:25

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 992

You deserved it 108 902

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 551

You deserved it 3 739

By VacationTSA - 19/02/2009 16:29 - United States

Today, I woke up in a girls bed, that I have had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 834

You deserved it 4 206

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 677

You deserved it 2 371

By SoVeryMonday - 30/11/2009 18:01 - Canada

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 152

You deserved it 9 520

By Dirty_Mind_69 - 20/07/2013 08:35 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 209

You deserved it 9 927

By scatter00x - 08/02/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 086

You deserved it 7 090

How romantic

By SmokedSalmon - 13/02/2009 00:54 - United States

Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 240

You deserved it 43 577

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 549

So hot

By bonesniffer - 16/09/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 772

You deserved it 6 037

Next

Top comments

kirstyfaerie 0

Friday 6 March 2009 5:35

only half naked? you're not very ambitious.

birchofacookie 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 5:24

That's weird. Today, I was having sex on a boat with a hot brunette. Then, I woke up. And Samus slapped me.

Comments

i_stay_anonymous 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 22:34

Cute, ahaha.

14_dancer_14 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 2:24

lol,i hate it when that happens!!!

TheButler 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 17:09

dude u said that to a girl who not even in he teens.... WTF DUDE

TheButler 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 17:10

i've done it more than a few times mate :) u can do it... it's jokes

loveyahun 0

Thursday 19 November 2009 2:45

Lmao. Why not a fully naked brunette?

koolitaliano 0

Monday 4 January 2010 14:10

I know how you feel. I was aske on a date by the girl I love. when I woke up I actually started to get dressed to go...

467itsbritt 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 4:11

aww poor guy hope come true and have similar but non nude

bigdong12incher 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 14:55

**** YOU ALL.

mc1900 4

Wednesday 10 February 2010 21:01

guys, is it normal to shit ferrets? i'm onlu asking because uhm it happened to me just now i was reading fmls while on the shitter and yeah 8(

Luvin_life_17 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 4:34

lol haha sucks for u!!!poor baybay

applesmoothiee 2

Sunday 4 April 2010 23:44

That's the FML, Einstein

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Keywords

Lonely Dentist Sadness Health Work Awkward Abuse Parents Miscellaneous Birthday Mental health OCD Relatable Cleaning Housework Love Cute Argument Kids Animals Cats Intimacy Underwear Bikes Camping Boredom Friends Vacation Transportation Annoying

The Top

Today, my wife, who often complains about being walked on by everyone, let a person take items from our rummage sale without paying for them and simply walked away. When I asked her why she didn't say or do anything about it, she stated, "I just didn't want to make a big deal out of it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 119

Today, I got lost at Best Buy. Meanwhile, my mom freaked out, and they called out my name over the intercom. When I walked up to the desk and they saw I was 17, the employees burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 044

You deserved it 4 436

The Top

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 035

You deserved it 287 428

Today, while my friend and I signed the guest-book at a wedding, the drunk guy at our table stole my friend's painkillers and car keys before getting into a cab. Didn't need the painkillers, definitely needed the keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 348

You deserved it 2 873

Today, the man I have been dating for 3 weeks, who told me he owns a high end restaurant in the city, handed me my lunch order through the drive-thru at Wendy's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 977

You deserved it 10 017

Today, at gym class, coach placed the boys on an "advanced level" rope climb by having a girl cling on their back. I got paired with my crush. As he climbed, we were trailing behind so I cheered for him to go faster. He loudly responded, "Why don't you go on a diet!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 447

You deserved it 748

Today, I found out that my best friend is moving to Arkansas, and my girlfriend is going with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 774

You deserved it 3 523

Today, after the two week winter break, I went back to school to find that the bookbag that I'd left in my car was covered in some creepy, pink gooey stuff. Under the freezing conditions, my lotion had exploded all over my notes and bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 351

You deserved it 22 688