Love: Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister...

By Anonymous - 01/07/2012 04:22

Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 159

You deserved it 2 368

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Same thing different taste

I have sex

By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 17:58 - United States - Athens

Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 520

You deserved it 16 276

Life's a beach

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 143

You deserved it 6 014

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 22:04 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 393

You deserved it 2 295

By Crashburn - 16/01/2012 11:09 - United Kingdom

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 863

You deserved it 15 389

By Burned - 05/06/2011 00:54 - United States

Today, I went to the beach with my friends to show off my engagement ring. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up extremely sunburnt to a text from my boyfriend confessing that he's been cheating on me. I gave him the ring back. Now I have its tan line on my finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 099

You deserved it 7 078

Brutally honest

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 07:25 - Australia

Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 933

You deserved it 2 915

By ilovedirt - 10/07/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 318

You deserved it 3 764

By megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 865

You deserved it 37 442

It's not what you think

By tessykins - 22/10/2009 07:41 - United States

Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "Don't lie, I saw those scars on your thighs when we went swimming." I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 368

You deserved it 3 299

By metalmusic - 05/07/2010 05:37 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to the beach. His parents relentlessly tried to hook him with other girls, all the while knowing that we're dating. Their reasoning is that I'm not a 'real girlfriend.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 905

You deserved it 4 400

JFurr 9

Sunday 1 July 2012 12:18

He's just nervous in his own skin around your parents. So he tried taking it off.

SovietBarney 8

Sunday 1 July 2012 12:24

He must have been attacked by one of those vicious cougars, if you catch my drift.

Comments

greenie213 23

Sunday 1 July 2012 16:16

Now don't jump to conclusions. Who am I kidding? Dump his ass?

stonedfishies 10

Sunday 1 July 2012 16:44

There could be a few reasons why he has scratch marks on his back.

Briiyahh 7

Sunday 1 July 2012 16:48

Maybe he has a itchy back?

lovebeecharmer 6

Sunday 1 July 2012 19:25

Coyly isn't even a smooth word. Makes me want to punch babies.

Shrike 23

Sunday 1 July 2012 21:40

What the hell? It's THE word to convey the meaning that OP intended. What, do you expect her to make a new word up just for you, or to rifle through a thesaurus just because you feel threatened by a word you probably think is "too exotic"?

lovebeecharmer 6

Monday 2 July 2012 20:21

Lol do you feel better now you big baby. I just meant I don't like how it sounds.

AFCA020 4

Sunday 1 July 2012 21:00

I bet your sister made those marks op...

Addictinggg 6

Sunday 1 July 2012 22:45

He definitely got those scratches when he tried helping a kitten get off the highest tree in the neighborhood, for his grandmas friend. While successfully getting the cat and walking it off the tree, he slipped and his back hit the tree on the way down! The cat died because he landed on it.