Miscellaneous: Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead... - FML

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 14:22 - United States

Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 697

You deserved it 4 014

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Same thing different taste

Knock out

By Anonymous - 25/02/2020 14:00

Today, I treated myself to a Thai massage. The masseuse was so aggressive and intense, she left me with injuries on my hands and back. I paid $60 for someone to hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 622

You deserved it 356

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 674

You deserved it 27 489

By spitty - 14/04/2015 21:50 - United States - Willoughby

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 511

You deserved it 2 179

By bcoper - 20/02/2010 14:03 - United States

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 384

You deserved it 3 269

By BangBangBzzz - 15/12/2015 22:01

Today, I went for a much needed relaxing massage. As I lay down, the renovation works in the next building started up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 441

You deserved it 1 417

Third degree

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 06:01

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 115

By person - 26/12/2010 17:59 - Jordan

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 913

You deserved it 28 330

By crazycatlady1890 - 02/05/2019 18:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I finished a full marathon and just wanted to relax and get pampered by my husband afterwards. Instead, I spent the evening taking care of him and his back because he had a spasm. Don't worry, he feels much better now. Meanwhile, I can’t move my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 755

You deserved it 456

By random - 06/05/2009 08:57 - United States

Today, I got my hair dyed at a fancy salon. While the stylist was pulling out the foils in my hair I sat up and started screaming in pain because the hot foils were burning my scalp. All she said was "oh, you're fine". I went back home to find an oozing burn wound on my scalp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 009

You deserved it 4 323

Relax

By Anonymous - 07/01/2021 00:01 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, in the attempt to have a relaxing self-care evening, I ran a bath, threw in some bath salts then put a face mask on and hopped on in. After about 7 minutes of relaxing, my back started burning, so I got out only to discover the bath salts have given me a rash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 105

Next

Top comments

iseyixes 18

Saturday 21 January 2012 19:47

Lawsuit!

mattclark 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 19:49

Look on the bright side could be third degree burns

Comments

hateevryone 14

Sunday 22 January 2012 7:49

ouch!

EduJav321 24

Sunday 22 January 2012 8:19

Bett

cysanleigh 13

Sunday 22 January 2012 8:54

I hope you didn't tip! Next time get the sensual Swedish massage. You won't have any complaints on it I promise! Chocolate body wraps are pretty awesome to!

guitar_god7007 3

Sunday 22 January 2012 12:48

Tell me, what part of people putting hot stones on your back sounds relaxing?

5t3ff1k4h 44

Monday 23 January 2012 3:19

All of it. You've never enjoyed a hot shower? Same deal, just instead of all over your body it's on certain points of the body. It's only as hot as a hot shower.

essex 17

Sunday 22 January 2012 14:43

That happened to me as well, OP, except mine were only first-degree burns. Oh, and my massage therapist was my mother who was a smidge out of practice and wanted to brush up. Once she took the fireball off the small of my back it was smooth sailing, though. It was quite relaxing as I have bad circulation and a lot of muscular issues from a car accident a few years ago. The heat and pressure from the rocks really helped.

mike_coles 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 21:45

You should sue them

GingerNinja 18

Monday 23 January 2012 4:30

#firstworldproblems

rosetta4978 6

Monday 23 January 2012 5:16

Don't feel bad, you can start a new fad! :D feel better soon!

sexymuffineffect 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 6:52

well they don't call it hot stone for no reason!

dragonrider1959 18

Tuesday 4 November 2014 17:27

Lawsuits

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The Top

Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 846

You deserved it 635

Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'd already moved out of his mom’s. I sublet a single bedroom and have barely enough room for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 147

The Top

Today, I got fired from the job I'd had for eleven years for going onto Facebook while on the clock. When I got home, I saw that my boss had updated his status, from work, to "Finally fired that bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 021

You deserved it 10 066

Today, I had to sit through an entire movie where every time a new character was introduced, the guy sitting behind me would say, "My name is Jeff." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 097

You deserved it 2 242

Today, I told a story about a new mother naming her daughter after the first thing she saw moments after she was born. The group admins accused me of lying, with absolutely zero proof, and deleted the post. The story is 100% true. My mother and I witnessed it with our own two eyes and ears. Fuck these people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 201

Today, our mom hit my brother's head hard against the wall. He was taken to the hospital with a head wound. He came home in the evening, and said that his mom told him to say that it was his sister who'd hit him with a ball. My brother had told me the story and I'd recorded it on a tape recorder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 121

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 615

You deserved it 6 819

Today, I told my boyfriend he's the only good thing left in my life. That's not a healthy relationship dynamic, he said, and ended up breaking up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 037

You deserved it 3 574