Love: Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time....

By Anonymous - 25/09/2011 10:26 - Singapore

Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 984

You deserved it 3 659

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 05:32 - United States

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 362

You deserved it 2 625

Very very frightening

By graham - 11/01/2020 14:00

Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 841

You deserved it 349

By Anonymous - 05/04/2011 18:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 854

You deserved it 5 290

By Gina - 02/04/2010 11:33 - Thailand

Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 355

You deserved it 9 595

Mammy's boy

By Anonymous - 14/04/2023 22:00

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 156

By Jake - 28/09/2010 17:35 - United States

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 931

You deserved it 3 462

By crawfo - 31/08/2009 13:54 - Australia

Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 325

You deserved it 12 065

By Jes_jes18 - 02/05/2013 18:27 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 955

You deserved it 7 687

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 682

You deserved it 741

By AnonymousLoser - 11/09/2013 09:30 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 032

You deserved it 3 737

Calivale 7

Sunday 25 September 2011 19:15

Aww your mom loves you, to the extent of ruining your social life.

niamah 11

Sunday 25 September 2011 19:16

Mom is lonely. Tell dad to start taking her out again

Comments

ilovenutella10 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 21:39

Hah ;) what's gonna happen when you make love?!??!!

reidlover 1

Sunday 25 September 2011 21:42

Aww she cares bout u but still hahaha

Rasetsu 10

Sunday 25 September 2011 21:44

Better than having a mother who doesn't care if you have underage sex.

Lenho 26

Sunday 25 September 2011 21:46

Perhaps OP saw two many B-A-R-B-I-E commercials and mom's trying to help her?

IamDre 5

Sunday 25 September 2011 21:47

How could it not be the first time if it was your first date??

sugarkiller_fml 6

Sunday 25 September 2011 21:51

In many asian countries, Old women alway try to impress upon young girls that virginity is so precious that it is unforgiving to lose before wedding.

margiemayhem 2

Sunday 25 September 2011 21:54

Why is your mom going with you on dates?

Jirekianu2 19

Sunday 25 September 2011 21:56

If you've already moved out this shit is inexcusable. File a restraining order.

aimferd 4

Sunday 25 September 2011 21:56

Haha i could see my mom do that too! Sucks A LOT!

cruzing619 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 22:01

How do I message ppl on this ?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I'm broke and just started working in a restaurant at a luxury hotel. On my first day, the director had told me to get rid of my blue dyed hair. Back at work with a new fresh 57€ cut and no blue in sight, he saw me. I have some blonde streaks in the back, and if I don't get rid of them within a week, I'm fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 263

Today, it's the third time this year I was recommended to meet someone because we're "so smart, we'll get along." At dinner, this person complimented how I'd do great in their graduate course on data science. I helped develop the degree program. I can't believe I missed pinball for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 215

The Top

Today, after two weeks visiting my boyfriend's family in rural Mississippi, we finally returned to civilization. Unfortunately, I pick up on accents really easily, and now I sound like a hick. My boyfriend thinks it's cute, but I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 579

Today, after years struggling with obesity, alcoholism, and mental illness, I finally decided I'd fixed myself up enough to try dating. The first girl I went out with said, "You're 31 and you've never dated? Sorry to break it to you, but nobody's going to want to walk a 31-year-old through Dating 101." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 321

You deserved it 186

Today, I saw the guy I've been seeing passing by my dorm. I called out to him, but he covered his ears and crossed the street. Well, at least I have ice cream in my fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 524

You deserved it 1 044

Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cops laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 109

You deserved it 32 234

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 69

Today, after complaining about the clocks still being an hour ahead from daylights savings, my work finally changed the time on all the clocks in the building. Now all the clocks are two hours ahead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 823

You deserved it 869

Same thing different taste

Very very frightening

Mammy's boy

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