Miscellaneous: Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through...

By fububc - 05/02/2010 15:14 - France

Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 825

You deserved it 6 417

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Spice

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 04:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 956

By wtf - 30/01/2015 09:00 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 587

You deserved it 2 640

By lizzard0416 - 30/11/2012 03:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 965

You deserved it 9 982

By ewww - 03/12/2009 05:59 - United States

Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long nasty toes nails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 375

You deserved it 3 875

Eye bleach

By deardaughter - 14/08/2019 06:00 - Australia

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 790

You deserved it 115

By no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no - 01/09/2013 20:04 - Greece - Athens

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 291

You deserved it 3 224

By EwwEwwEww - 19/02/2017 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I noticed that the floor outside our bathroom was covered in toenail clippings. I asked my husband what had happened. Turns out, he saves time by clipping his nails onto the floor and then sweeping them out into the hall, where they get lodged in the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 852

You deserved it 460

Happy wife, happy life, right?

By tradwife blues - 22/08/2023 15:02 - United States

Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 131

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 971

By Avomitmous - 09/02/2014 21:18 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 723

You deserved it 5 326

darienlake 0

Friday 5 February 2010 19:57

hahaha. you should have gone back in and started a conversation while casually using the scissors to cut your pubic hairs and see what he does

RipIt 0

Friday 5 February 2010 19:58

YDI for smoking! naaah just kidding, that's gross!

Comments

funkymonkey90914 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 2:42

that's what you get for smoking. suck it

Lattenkiste 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 2:57

castrate him!! That's just not right! HDI!!

fububc 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 3:44

thank you!

sidvoltaire 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 4:10

that's what you get for not cooking him steak on command.

icayal 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 4:43

you married him. it was your choice.so really you're just calling yourself an idiot for marrying him.

Trent14 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 4:45

ydi for smoking!!!!!!!

QWERTYCommander 5

Saturday 6 February 2010 5:27

The FML comments section is not a smoking PSA, people. I hate smoking, but I hate people that bitch about it just as much.

MomoPeach 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 5:28

Ewwww.

xxdaniellexx369 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 5:42

that's what redneck trash will do to ya

wandaax03 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 5:45

ydi for smoking.

ggallegos13 2

Saturday 6 February 2010 5:59

There's no difference between smoking before dinner and eating from filthy cooking scissors. You both need to take care of yourselves. I am sorry, but you deserved this one. Best of luck to you.