Miscellaneous: Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my... - FML

By Anonymous - 16/01/2012 20:02 - United States

Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 070

You deserved it 4 213

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Same thing different taste

By Jaime - 31/03/2014 22:05 - United States - New York

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 377

You deserved it 6 815

By Anonymous - 26/09/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 165

You deserved it 3 324

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 18:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 721

You deserved it 2 731

By Anonymous - 01/01/2016 11:37 - Australia

Today, I went on a date at the park. Have you ever felt dozens of ants swarming up your legs and back? I have now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 083

You deserved it 1 717

By Anonyme - 06/04/2019 02:00

Today, I went on a date for the first time in ages, only to realize that the guy I was seeing chose to take us to a specific restaurant in able to stalk his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 306

You deserved it 152

By Anonymous - 16/12/2018 03:00

Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes and returned to find my date had not only left, but poured ketchup all over our food to ruin it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 592

You deserved it 195

Bat out of hell

By goodeyesight - 11/10/2012 14:02 - Brazil - Sào Paulo

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 355

You deserved it 31 722

Pleased to meet y'all

By rokkstarrrVRV - 28/12/2013 08:42 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 321

You deserved it 5 162

Tonight, on First Dates…

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really liked. He spent the whole time talking about his pet iguana and how it's the love of his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 161

Cool moves

By Juanna - 13/01/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 679

You deserved it 4 521

Next

Top comments

eminemop 0

Monday 16 January 2012 23:47

Nothing like special brownies and a trip to the zoo!

gaffag 2

Monday 16 January 2012 23:48

That's a really good idea. Thank you

Comments

mikosquak 6

Tuesday 17 January 2012 7:05

You must be dumb! Mary Jane is the best thing since sliced bread! Although I must say it's his bad for not bringing enough brownies for the both of you.

fahquad 4

Tuesday 17 January 2012 17:47

Just gonna point out marijuana was around before sliced bread...

j_cat187 19

Tuesday 17 January 2012 7:17

And he didn't share!?? What the **** is wrong with him!??

dreamer2012 16

Tuesday 17 January 2012 7:57

This made my day :) lol

conqueror57 11

Tuesday 17 January 2012 8:06

Is it only because I'm older that I know that "hash" and "weed" are significantly different? Same plant, yes, but hardly the same effect or experience!

Calyx_fml 21

Tuesday 17 January 2012 8:07

Your life aux because he didn't bring Amy for you

GoW_Chick 14

Tuesday 17 January 2012 8:38

Who's Amy, and why would she make this date better? Oh wait, she's the one who made the hash brownies, so she could bring more, that would be better.

docscientist 9

Tuesday 17 January 2012 8:52

Have you had time to hash over why he didn't offer you some?

googlewtf 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:22

Nothin like moral support wait I ment oral

Hache_fml 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:47

First problem was a date to the zoo. Come on that's cliche. Where is the thought in that date?

AugustBurnsToast 14

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:52

I bet he felt as tall as one of the giraffes lol ^_*

hamodeabosam 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 11:11

R u ok

brianjman14 22

Tuesday 17 January 2012 16:23

Yes. Thank you for asking.

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The Top

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You deserved it 3 317

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You deserved it 51 630

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I agree, your life sucks 1 805

You deserved it 141

Today, I was getting my first tattoo done. My parents told me it was a bad idea. My friends' parents told me it was a bad idea. I told them that people get tattoos done all the time and nothing goes wrong. Fifty minutes into the tattoo on my back, the artist said, "Oh shit, shit, shit. We can fix this." FML

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You deserved it 56 241