Miscellaneous: Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my... - FML

By Anonymous - 16/01/2012 20:02 - United States

Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 070

You deserved it 4 213

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Same thing different taste

By Jaime - 31/03/2014 22:05 - United States - New York

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 377

You deserved it 6 815

By Anonymous - 26/09/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 165

You deserved it 3 324

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 18:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 721

You deserved it 2 731

By Anonymous - 01/01/2016 11:37 - Australia

Today, I went on a date at the park. Have you ever felt dozens of ants swarming up your legs and back? I have now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 083

You deserved it 1 717

By Anonyme - 06/04/2019 02:00

Today, I went on a date for the first time in ages, only to realize that the guy I was seeing chose to take us to a specific restaurant in able to stalk his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 306

You deserved it 152

By Anonymous - 16/12/2018 03:00

Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes and returned to find my date had not only left, but poured ketchup all over our food to ruin it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 592

You deserved it 195

Bat out of hell

By goodeyesight - 11/10/2012 14:02 - Brazil - Sào Paulo

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 355

You deserved it 31 722

Pleased to meet y'all

By rokkstarrrVRV - 28/12/2013 08:42 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 321

You deserved it 5 162

Tonight, on First Dates…

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really liked. He spent the whole time talking about his pet iguana and how it's the love of his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 161

Cool moves

By Juanna - 13/01/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 679

You deserved it 4 521

Next

Top comments

eminemop 0

Monday 16 January 2012 23:47

Nothing like special brownies and a trip to the zoo!

gaffag 2

Monday 16 January 2012 23:48

That's a really good idea. Thank you

Comments

lissyplz 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 3:55

I get where O.P is coming from, I'd be pretty offended if my date got high. It would make me feel like I'm not good enough to be around while they're sober... There's a time and a place for these things, I guess.

smittys 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 15:49

Well maybe you're not?

lissyplz 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 17:30

I've been on successful dates with sober people I must be okay

JulesPWinnfield 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 4:25

She's a keeper.

tdotk1d 6

Tuesday 17 January 2012 4:28

he didn't share? how rude.

ShakeMeDown 12

Tuesday 17 January 2012 4:30

Except when you mix your drugs up and put roofies in instead.

jonriise18 3

Tuesday 17 January 2012 4:38

Awesome!!! I don't even like weed but that sounds like a good time!

hateevryone 14

Tuesday 17 January 2012 4:43

did he vomit?

kekee88 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 5:01

Dear OP. I think i speak for everyone when I say... So?

pussapian 3

Tuesday 17 January 2012 5:03

Ive done that before... Quite fun actually :)

rocklare18 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 5:04

how are you going to compare bud to roofies lmaoo

csi13 8

Tuesday 17 January 2012 5:24

What is a hash brownie...?

j_cat187 19

Tuesday 17 January 2012 7:32

It's better to find out by trying one. There very good.

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The Top

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Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 1 014

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I agree, your life sucks 31 286

You deserved it 6 255

Today, I told my boyfriend of 3 years that I wanted to marry him someday. His response was, "Oh, OK, thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 165