Intimacy: Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden,...

By stpdaziandude - 08/05/2009 20:51 - United States

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 895

You deserved it 44 998

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Same thing different taste

Gastropod scandal

By Anonymous - 20/05/2022 04:00

Today, one of my aquatic snails banged my other aquatic snail til they both died. FML

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You deserved it 156

By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

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You deserved it 8 310

Envy

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 08:15 - United States

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 261

You deserved it 13 100

By ohgodwhy - 06/04/2013 14:15 - Canada - Elliot Lake

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 376

You deserved it 5 712

By Nat - 13/09/2014 06:29 - United States - Frisco

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 504

You deserved it 18 685

By slugitha - 16/03/2016 10:23 - United States

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 425

You deserved it 1 839

Stickler

By Anonymous - 02/09/2014 15:49 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I finally got to watch some porn after not being able to for a while. All I could notice in the video was how badly the participants were playing snooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 332

You deserved it 8 733

By Pk45 - 11/11/2011 15:37 - United Kingdom

Today, my young son wanted to rent some movie with talking animals in it for us to watch together. I couldn't say no, but talking animal movies freak me out big time, I either start to cry or feel nauseous. Especially ones with dogs. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 900

You deserved it 8 260

Dirty mind

By FUCK YOU - 08/08/2014 21:29 - United States

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 497

You deserved it 15 193

By jrocks - 19/05/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 880

You deserved it 70 615

Komatose 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

Oh come on people. Snails are sexy as HELL! Especially since they're too slow to get away...

ilikerainbows 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

i think i've seen that movie. i gotta admit, it was some pretty hot snail sex.

Comments

dr_house_MD 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 0:06

you prob got hard cuz sub-consciously you were thinking about you and the person you like doing it

mcsnelly 5

Saturday 9 May 2009 0:07

umm...this is just creepy...how do snails arouse you???

idontgiveone 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 0:08

one word: wow.

gregthestrange 3

Saturday 9 May 2009 0:08

you must be a furfag. YIFF IN HELL, FURFAG

Hazimius 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 0:09

The range of fetishes never cease to amaze me... this is probably the strangest.

gelt 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 0:10

so you like trousersnakes or what???

mf_fml 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 0:11

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stephie_fml 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 0:11

Dude, don't listen to these idiots, its not weird to get turned on by SEX, duh.

PianoManGidley 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 0:12

#46: You fail at brainpower. Everyone has their own tastes.

xxjoexx 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 0:17

#34 snails aren't insects, if he were turned on by insects that would just be weird

Keywords

Health Growing old Mental health Relatable Embarrassing Periods Job interview Awkward Work Education Love Social Media Stalker Instagram Phobias Animals Spiders Ironic Bikes Ecology Transportation Weird Parents Confused Kids AITA Drunk Poopoo peepee Geek Facebook

The Top

Today, my boss fired me because someone hacked our website and replaced pictures of our products with furry porn (don’t Google it, it’s weird as fuck). We don’t have an IT department, but since I spend the most time on the computer controlling stock and purchases, he blamed me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 661

You deserved it 161

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 182

You deserved it 7 311

The Top

Today, my brand-new digital hearing aid fell out of my ear as I was walking home from the store. I've retraced my steps, but cannot find it anywhere. It cost $2000, and replacement, like the hearing aid itself, is not covered by insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 163

You deserved it 394

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear: "Do you give head?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 501

You deserved it 6 541

Today, I'm so excited and can't wait to join work after my maternity break, but the thought of being away from my baby is just killing me. FML

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You deserved it 255

Today, my 21-year-old cat, who has learned when I go to bed and waits in my bedroom for me every night, was waiting for me as usual last night. She got on top of me and I fell asleep pretty fast. When I woke up, she was still there, so I decided to wait until she moved. It took me an hour to realize she'd died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 105

Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 672

You deserved it 4 042

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

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You deserved it 3 883