Sex and Intimacy: Nice guy

Nice guy

By anon - 19/01/2015 05:35 - United States - Burleson

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear: "Do you give head?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 501

You deserved it 6 541

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Same thing different taste

By boom - 17/03/2011 21:26 - United States

Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 137

You deserved it 3 772

By Mojo_Jojo - 13/06/2009 11:01 - China

Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 006

You deserved it 6 678

By vishurricanes - 10/06/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 848

You deserved it 3 236

By Stacy - 13/07/2013 04:22 - United States

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 126

You deserved it 5 246

By FarmerGirl - 09/10/2012 18:43 - Canada - Brossard

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 131

You deserved it 3 691

By yikes :/ - 22/05/2017 18:00

Today, the cute coworker who's been flirting with me drove me home. While I was contemplating asking him to kiss me, he politely told me to, "Please get out, I promised my girlfriend I'd pick her up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 087

You deserved it 1 055

Great deal

By danny - 14/12/2021 08:01 - United States - Federal Way

Today, my crush from high school finally agreed to go out with me. While on the seemingly good date, she offered me a discount to her OnlyFans page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 205

By Anonymous - 06/11/2015 05:29 - United States - Madison

Today, after countless nights spent together and flirty texts, I decided ask my crush on a date while at a party. We went on a walk and held hands. Just as I asked him, he said no, let go of my hand and briskly walked away. He was my ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 901

You deserved it 1 852

Ouch.

By Zaak - 25/03/2018 06:00

Today, my neighbor, whom I've had a massive crush on but barely know, actually started flirting with me. Long story short, it ended with him getting a blowjob. I said, "We should make this a thing." He replied, "Yeah, a one-time thing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 597

You deserved it 6 574

Always the bridesmaid…

By Anonymous - 25/01/2024 04:00 - Pakistan - Gujranwala

Today, my friend, on whom I have a crush since I can remember, read the most beautiful poem to me, which he'd written himself. After reading it, he said that it was for a girl he likes, and asked me if it was good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 128

iop330 22

Monday 19 January 2015 12:37

That's when you say yes and headbutt him.

Wolfparable 22

Monday 19 January 2015 12:38

Yeesh. Sorry that happened to you. I hope you decided he's not worth your time.

Comments

tepovre 18

Monday 19 January 2015 12:36

Some guys take a while to break in, don't think about it too much, OP

MzZombicidal 36

Monday 19 January 2015 13:32

Can you elaborate, #1? I'm honestly not sure what you mean.

EverestMelting 23

Monday 19 January 2015 14:38

Like when someone asks for head, they really mean to give them head until they open up to you. Actually, that's a lie. Dome is dome is dome is dome is dome.

MzZombicidal 36

Monday 19 January 2015 15:00

Still so confused... Lol!

badluckalex 23

Monday 19 January 2015 19:57

I'm a guy and I dont even know what the hell they're saying...

Regimental_Phan 18

Monday 19 January 2015 20:20

my first thoughts to that were....UH WHAT?!

TheNotoriousHGC 15

Friday 23 January 2015 5:56

I think he is saying it can take a while for guys to "get trained."

Shamandalie89 32

Monday 19 January 2015 12:36

This reminds me of that banned Master Card commercial...

sisco2901 20

Monday 19 January 2015 15:47

This guy apparently didn't bother investing im the wine ans sweet talk, though.

Obito_Rocks 6

Monday 19 January 2015 12:37

Classy. Sorry you had to hear that, a lot of guys only have one thing on their mind's, and it's not always Spongebob :)

jojimugo 20

Monday 19 January 2015 17:17

Common misconception about guys...we have at least 2 things in our mind

horneyhic 15

Monday 19 January 2015 18:24

I have 3 things on my mind

ichdprodigy 12

Monday 19 January 2015 19:31

I can sometimes get to 4 things on my mind. Pretty rare, though.

SirMichael 13

Monday 19 January 2015 21:03

@77 bone, skin, hair and sex?

Epikatz 22

Monday 19 January 2015 21:24

Bone? You're into some dark shit buddy....

JustinJK 21

Tuesday 20 January 2015 4:48

I have other things on my mind besides sex. Like food. But that's about it, sex and food

Brandi_Faith 33

Tuesday 20 January 2015 20:02

From what I understand about men it's sex, food, sleep, & sometimes (depending on the guy) gaming.

iop330 22

Monday 19 January 2015 12:37

That's when you say yes and headbutt him.

SpartanMerc 18

Monday 19 January 2015 17:24

Or not because that would be assault. You could, however, just get out of his car and not talk to him ever again...

badgercheese94 16

Monday 19 January 2015 19:53

#61, humour isn't your strongest quality, is it?

MortenM 17

Monday 19 January 2015 22:27

#4, on behalf of all guys I'd like to express our appreciation that you're trying to convince girls to headbutt us. Thanks. And ouch.

onlychildFTW 33

Tuesday 20 January 2015 21:08

The head but would probably hurt her more then him. Head buts hurt both parties and generally speaking guys have a higher pain tolerance. Though not always.