Intimacy: Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden,...

By stpdaziandude - 08/05/2009 20:51 - United States

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 894

You deserved it 44 998

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Same thing different taste

Gastropod scandal

By Anonymous - 20/05/2022 04:00

Today, one of my aquatic snails banged my other aquatic snail til they both died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 156

By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 730

You deserved it 8 310

Envy

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 08:15 - United States

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 260

You deserved it 13 100

By ohgodwhy - 06/04/2013 14:15 - Canada - Elliot Lake

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 376

You deserved it 5 712

By Nat - 13/09/2014 06:29 - United States - Frisco

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 504

You deserved it 18 684

By slugitha - 16/03/2016 10:23 - United States

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 425

You deserved it 1 839

Stickler

By Anonymous - 02/09/2014 15:49 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I finally got to watch some porn after not being able to for a while. All I could notice in the video was how badly the participants were playing snooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 332

You deserved it 8 733

By Pk45 - 11/11/2011 15:37 - United Kingdom

Today, my young son wanted to rent some movie with talking animals in it for us to watch together. I couldn't say no, but talking animal movies freak me out big time, I either start to cry or feel nauseous. Especially ones with dogs. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 899

You deserved it 8 260

Dirty mind

By FUCK YOU - 08/08/2014 21:29 - United States

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 497

You deserved it 15 192

By jrocks - 19/05/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 880

You deserved it 70 613

Komatose 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

Oh come on people. Snails are sexy as HELL! Especially since they're too slow to get away...

ilikerainbows 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

i think i've seen that movie. i gotta admit, it was some pretty hot snail sex.

Comments

Kaaaaatie 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:32

well, at least you didn't get hard while it was two sea cucumbers doing the dirty. you wisely saved yourself for more complex invertabrates.

LavenderBlonde 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 17:44

#12, I kind of want to marry you <3

jokerman7734 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 3:38

ur hot #12.

mjsmclaren 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:32

You fail at life... and apparently with women

hawaii_love 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:33

wow. gross. you def. have issues.

kellybri 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:34

I'm trying to picture what it looks like when snails have sex... and I have nothing. Hm. Well, it must of been pretty good! lol ;)

secretsxsecrets 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:34

try snail-position next time

bonafidehustler 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:36

This is one of the stupidest FMLs I've ever seen, and there've been a lot of stupid ones.

keepitsimple 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:36

Yum, snail ****...

Froppo 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:37

wow talk about wanting to get s-nailed! HAHAHA!!!

4lw4yzl0n3ly 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 5:46

Hahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha.

daynerr 0

Wednesday 25 August 2010 7:27

ahahahahahahahah

tellithowitis 13

Tuesday 26 April 2011 6:12

hahahahahahahaha

dudeseriously 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:37

Well, to each his own...some guys are gay, others like snails...I guess we should just be tolerant of you.

greasy_broad 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:37

Dumbest FML ever. For real. Snails?! Seriously?! Gross. Gross gross gross. I like centipedes better.

Dale_xD 15

Wednesday 12 August 2009 19:38

#21 LMAO! xD

Keywords

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Today, the final for a class I'm in is taught by a decrepit old man who apparently has a flunk-out reputation. He spent the entire previous class making a study guide for the final exam, emphasizing, "THIS is on the exam. Know THIS." I studied it hard. Absolutely none of it was on the exam. Everyone failed. FML

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You deserved it 84

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 15 151

You deserved it 53 966

Today, I finally decided to get my five-year-old son a rabbit, so I explained to him how to take care of it. When I'd finished listing all the things he'd have to do, he replied, "That's too complicated... Couldn't we just eat it instead?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 77

Today, I was over at a friend's house for a party. I was trying to strike up a conversation with one of my cute guy friends, so I showed him this funny picture of me that my friend took. His reply was "Hahahaa those Fatbooth pictures are hilarious!" It wasn't a Fatbooth picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 752

You deserved it 7 212

Today, wanting to get revenge at my ex for and the woman he cheated on me with, I invaded their wedding during the ceremony and objected to their marriage, laying out all the facts about how they started their nasty relationship built on betrayal. I was thrown out by security as they laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 1 735

Today, my husband and I mutually discovered that we are both infected with pubic lice. How? I found his and he found mine while we were in the middle of 69-ing each other. So, so gross. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 492

You deserved it 1 618

Today, I went to the hairdresser and changed my hairstyle drastically. It wasn't until she was nearly done that she said, "I just KNEW this style wasn't going to suit you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 029

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Same thing different taste

Gastropod scandal

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Dirty mind

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