Transportation: Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment...

By ocroyalty - 01/02/2010 07:31 - United States

Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 523

You deserved it 2 665

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Same thing different taste

By unknown - 08/03/2014 00:53 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mess around at my workplace's parking lot. Things got hot and steamy, but in the middle of it all, there came a bang at my car window. My frantic boss had seen us and thought I was being attacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 027

You deserved it 28 792

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 19:46 - United States - Bronx

Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 537

You deserved it 5 036

Oh hey how are you?

By Shelly - 13/06/2011 02:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 077

You deserved it 46 207

By username - 31/07/2011 22:19 - United States

Today, I was feeling a little naughty, so I put on a sexy outfit, laid down on the hood of my boyfriend's car, and waited for him to find me. When he came into the garage and saw me, he freaked out and bitched at me, because I "could have dented the chassis". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 572

You deserved it 16 553

Road rage

By Broke - 28/05/2012 09:38 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 090

You deserved it 3 401

By English_Nut117 - 30/10/2013 19:17 - Canada - Georgetown

Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 664

You deserved it 15 189

Did you smash?

By Silverfeathery - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Lewiston

Today, I was making out with a guy in his car, when we decided we needed a minute of fresh air. We stepped out, only to completely lock ourselves out, with our phones and the keys inside. We had to smash a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 858

You deserved it 3 021

What what?

By Anonymous - 25/10/2011 05:58 - United States

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 802

You deserved it 3 512

By jason - 24/04/2009 13:24 - United States

Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 277

You deserved it 76 704

By suzanneallen - 11/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 125

You deserved it 40 938

TruckerGustav 0

Monday 1 February 2010 16:12

If I were you, I'll make them move by honking incessantly.

DeepSouthEmo 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 0:26

i would knock on the window and look at them so they feel awkward 

Comments

kivkiv 2

Monday 1 February 2010 16:08

they beat ya to it haha

Shystai 0

Monday 1 February 2010 22:43

Honk. 50 times. Then 500. Then 5000 times.

Lancerman7449 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 0:26

hit the gas, tht'll move em

emoss22 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 5:50

ur hott

girlygirllol8 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 6:54

I know, I am hot

animefreak101 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 7:11

but u gotta admit that's funny

lovethiscaligirl 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 19:38

wow u that REALLY sucks for u

My2864 1

Wednesday 14 April 2010 23:02

just cockblock the dude by banging on the windows xD

sammy92 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 11:05

sounds like fun hahaha

cocobulla1 4

Sunday 22 May 2011 6:40

betcha ur jealous!!!!

cocobulla1 4

Sunday 22 May 2011 6:42

lol I bet u also wanked off while watching!!!!

BadPinkKitty07 0

Monday 1 February 2010 16:10

I always did think garages were sexy. :/

infiniti_G 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 5:26

i think I'm in love ^^

shamRawer 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 5:27

lol WTF

girlygirllol8 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 6:55

what does ^^ mean????????

byronthegrim 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 7:41

that means 2 **** :-D, jk it's a happy face

lilbyrd43 0

Monday 1 February 2010 16:11

Haha that's hot

TruckerGustav 0

Monday 1 February 2010 16:12

If I were you, I'll make them move by honking incessantly.

DeepSouthEmo 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 0:26

i would knock on the window and look at them so they feel awkward 

allen20 0

Monday 1 February 2010 16:13

Pop their tires :D they'll have a big surprise as soon as they get out(:

MetroidSlayer01 8

Monday 1 February 2010 21:02

but then she would be stuck there longer...

UK_fml 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 7:22

WIN 

igetinyourpants 0

Monday 1 February 2010 16:18

yea... u would do that cause u are a white trash or uneducated nigga

theleader89 0

Monday 1 February 2010 16:18

lol just open the door yell hey!!! mind if i join!?

omnistryder 0

Monday 1 February 2010 16:21

ha! call a bunch of friends over and pop some popcorn

ihavenoname123 0

Monday 1 February 2010 23:30

maybe they wanna pop sonething else?

MinaGermania 12

Friday 7 March 2014 18:12

Best 3D P0rn ever :)

uhohuscrewedup 0

Monday 1 February 2010 16:24

get a video cam and record it, they'll move.

TheCoolDude16 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 9:25

nobody wants to see that--- FAIL

butlerreid 0

Monday 1 February 2010 16:50

hey uhohyouscrewedup? that's a dick move. for thinking that, you are a dick

Valter 0

Monday 1 February 2010 17:19

no, not a dick move at all.

gtdoll 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 0:31

naw, wasn't a dick move, FUNNY move;))

Keywords

Awkward Love Work Relatable Students Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Health Cheating Friends Teenagers Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Revenge Food Animals Cats Boredom Management Kids Parenting Sexism Parents Weird Miscellaneous Job interview Social Media Jealousy

The Top

Today, I discovered my boyfriend's spider-infested shed where I refused to set foot, where he is constantly fixing the mower, bikes, or his car, is actually just a sound recording of power tools he plays so I won’t go down and disturb him. He has a TV, an Xbox, and a fridge in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 546

Today, I told my husband to stop his friendship with our neighbor’s 17 year-old daughter. They claim they just play video games together, but lately he’s been uninterested in sex and barely shows me any affection. He vehemently said, “It’s not like we’re fucking or anything! Chill!” and stormed out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 121

The Top

Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 697

You deserved it 84 791

Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 951

You deserved it 6 106

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I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 128

Today, I was fighting to change a toilet seat when it suddenly came free and, thanks to physics, I promptly smashed myself across the bridge of my nose with the edge of it. I now have a purple nose and it's starting to spread to my eyes. I now have to explain to people over the next week or so how it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 149

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I agree, your life sucks 30 102

You deserved it 2 443

Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 829

You deserved it 4 667

Same thing different taste

Oh hey how are you?

Road rage

Did you smash?

What what?

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