Miscellaneous: Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the...

By effingawwesome - 11/04/2009 18:52 - United States

Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the beach. While I was out in the water, a jellyfish wrapped itself around my torso. I started to yell and freak out, making a huge scene. I grabbed it off of me, only to realize that I was freaking out over a plastic grocery bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 615

You deserved it 56 600

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Same thing different taste

By Muwz - 13/08/2014 04:28 - France

Today, at the beach, I noticed a plastic bag in the water. I wanted to do something good for a change, help protect the environment and get it out. It wasn't a bag; it was a jellyfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 505

You deserved it 9 764

By The_HML - 24/03/2009 02:48 - United States

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 976

You deserved it 11 156

By Heather - 31/05/2009 17:38 - United States

Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 404

You deserved it 10 938

By StungAlot - 19/06/2012 10:32 - United States

Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 375

You deserved it 2 742

Now you know

By Ouchies - 18/03/2021 17:01

Today, I went to the beach. My friend decided it would be funny to push me into a bunch of Portuguese Man-O-War jellyfish washed up on the shore. Did you know their tentacles can sting even if they’re dead? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 89

By Username - 05/06/2019 20:00

Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 436

You deserved it 924

By StungAlot - 12/06/2019 06:18

Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I writhed in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet, that I'm embarrassing him. He also mentioned that jellyfish were out today and that I should be careful. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 194

By loser. - 20/03/2010 06:23 - Canada

Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 604

You deserved it 5 496

By michellekel - 04/07/2009 12:10 - France

Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 609

You deserved it 6 958

By iannie - 31/07/2011 21:45 - United States

Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 384

You deserved it 39 496

zoopooz 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 1:26

You are dumb, you would have felt stinging if it was a jellyfish, no?

sudmanster 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 1:26

Wait, you're a guy?

Comments

manny2422 0

Friday 7 October 2011 13:46

Dumbass

callmesillyxxx 1

Friday 18 November 2011 8:24

Aside from the FML, it's sad that there are plastic bags in our ocean......

fogrunner 13

Wednesday 18 January 2012 22:25

Not all jellyfish sting (enough for humans to feel it), FYI.

LilyZombie 8

Wednesday 25 January 2012 0:49

When I was learning to surf a plastic bag got wrapped around my face. I thought it was a jelly too. Not to mention nearly drowning/suffocating. Ergh.

SpiritOfFire 8

Friday 27 January 2012 8:39

It's quite sad that most people don't even care that there's garbage in our swim waters. >

dazzle_me_lovely 9

Tuesday 6 March 2012 3:31

aha..aha...aha...ahaha...ahahahaha!

elodymayweeble 7

Monday 1 October 2012 12:36

Jellyfish don't really make a habit of wrapping themselves around people.

jmcr 27

Friday 23 November 2012 19:57

Well the fact that it didnt hurt should have been a big hint...

sporteeholmes01 15

Thursday 31 October 2013 20:48

I'd be pretty freaked out!!

sporteeholmes01 15

Thursday 31 October 2013 20:49

Until I found out it was a jelly fish......

FemskyD 26

Friday 6 December 2013 19:03

Take someone with you when doing The groceries ;)

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Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 249

You deserved it 7 781

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 2 163

The Top

Today, and most nights, my 17 year-old twins scream and shout while playing Fortnite. I asked if they could kindly not tonight, as I was tired and needed sleep. One told me I couldn't tell him to get off, he's allowed to play. I turned the WiFi off, which ended up with the other screaming and swearing how unfair i was. Now I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 251

Today, I decided to take a personal day from class and e-mailed all of my profs saying I had flu symptoms. While standing in line at Starbucks later, someone behind me says "Glad you're feeling better. Hope you can attend class tomorrow, we'll discuss lying." It was my Ethics professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 863

You deserved it 59 555

Today, I was looking through my roommate's room trying to find a DVD, when I stumbled upon a bundle of pictures of me showering and sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 368

You deserved it 2 795

Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging his neck and shoulders. He opens his eyes, looks at me, says "No", and goes back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 347

You deserved it 15 135

Today, at work, we ran out of receipt paper. Someone paid for $3 in gas and asked for a receipt. I explained that the company we order our paper from sent us toilet paper, not receipt paper. He got mad and said that he was never coming back. Twenty minutes later, he was back to get $3 more in gas, wanting a receipt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 795

You deserved it 130

Today, the police posted a description of the car of a child abductor. As everyone slowed down to read the billboard, I realized that the car's description and license plate were very similar to mine. After getting death stares from passengers, I got pulled over. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 552

You deserved it 2 708

Same thing different taste

Now you know

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