Work: Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom...

By shittysongs - 07/03/2013 02:39 - United States - Bothell

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 902

You deserved it 7 102

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Same thing different taste

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 783

You deserved it 11 857

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 048

You deserved it 3 548

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 563

You deserved it 44 710

"Pooping and Shit"

By everybodypoops - 02/08/2017 20:00

Today, while at a rest stop, I heard a woman in the stall next to me answer her phone and say to the other person, "Oh nothing just pooping and shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 875

You deserved it 532

By NoPrivacy - 26/04/2012 10:44 - United States

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 169

You deserved it 34 721

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 21:56 - Isle of Man

Today, I went to the toilet during drama class, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 892

You deserved it 47 615

By dog got ur phone - 07/05/2017 02:00

Today, I was playing music from my phone, which was on the couch. I guess my dog got jealous, because she picked it up and ran over to the toilet, promptly dropping it right in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 996

You deserved it 734

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 633

You deserved it 9 112

Office world is hell

By Anonymous - 11/07/2020 14:01

Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 470

You deserved it 137

By bathroomgirl - 11/08/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 071

You deserved it 37 173

sarah6786 14

Thursday 7 March 2013 9:12

everybody poops. Read the book.

paintedchocolate 30

Thursday 7 March 2013 9:12

Was it good music at least?

Comments

littlemonster94 15

Thursday 7 March 2013 9:17

Followed by an awkward silence......

Drakorex 10

Thursday 7 March 2013 9:18

Quality bonding time, i love awkwardness in the stalls

enormouselephant 15

Thursday 7 March 2013 9:27

It's only awkward because you're small.

gracehi 31

Thursday 7 March 2013 11:35

^ Says the enormous elephant. Everything is small to you, silly.

Ukeee_X 19

Thursday 7 March 2013 9:20

That's awkward, but at least the grunts are somewhat muffled... I hope.

karlcolt45 19

Thursday 7 March 2013 9:26

reminds me of Pam from Archer

iChompYa 18

Thursday 7 March 2013 9:35

So i take it you didn't partake in fart wars

sabbyheartswhat 23

Thursday 7 March 2013 20:33

Or Battle-*****.

2035 9

Thursday 7 March 2013 9:38

Yay battleshits!

RebornUnicorn 16

Thursday 7 March 2013 10:13

There's something about music that makes everything more magical

eyesmile27 7

Thursday 7 March 2013 10:55

Call it female bonding time?

xrudeboyrock 29

Thursday 7 March 2013 11:53

You could have just pretended you were checking a text or making a call.

panicsdisaster 17

Thursday 7 March 2013 12:32

That's what i would call literally rocking a shit.

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Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

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Today, my friend and I doodled on a sheet of paper trashing our English teacher. Later, I went to English class, and my teacher asked for us to take out a sheet of loose sheet of paper and write an essay. It wasn't until I had written on the whole front and flipped to the back that I realized I was using the doodle sheet. FML

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Today, I went for a really important job interview. She loved my portfolio and we got along really well. But I guess that a corner of my skirt got caught underneath my shoe when I stood up to shake her hand, exposing my teeny-tiny underwear and neglected bikini line. She didn't shake my hand back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 377

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Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 618

You deserved it 2 037

Today, I went to visit my aunt who recently was released from an institution. She had leftover Christmas cookies so I began snacking on them. They tasted a bit off so I inquired about the ingredients. She told me they only had white icing so she used Crayola markers to give them color. FML

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Today, it took me 2 hours to get my toddler to sleep. Just after I got him down, my mom woke him up by banging my pots and pans around in the sink. FML

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You deserved it 121

Today, I passed out in my kitchen and was woken up by my dog. Not because she was worried about me, but because my body was blocking her food dish. FML

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You deserved it 2 974

Same thing different taste

You OK in there?

"Pooping and Shit"

Office world is hell

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