Intimacy: Today, I was really upset after work, and tearily asked my boyfriend...

By BigPurplePresent - 28/07/2009 13:34 - South Africa

Today, I was really upset after work, and tearily asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 037

You deserved it 18 113

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Same thing different taste

By csgocockblock - 27/07/2016 17:26 - United States - Jenks

Today, when I got home from work I was pretty "in the mood" so I put on some cute undies and a tank top and went to get my boyfriends attention, he was so into his new computer game all I got was a half smile and a pat on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 435

You deserved it 2 717

Good one

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 294

You deserved it 4 385

By Anonymous - 23/03/2013 15:21 - Norway - Trondheim

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 337

You deserved it 6 823

By -___- - 29/09/2013 19:46 - United States - Winfield

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 765

You deserved it 27 686

Snuggle up

By addictedtofml - 24/02/2009 07:31 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 793

You deserved it 19 962

By pride? what's that? :( - 01/09/2012 00:23 - Belgium - Leuven

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 797

You deserved it 40 461

By "BunnysKitty" - 15/09/2017 23:15

Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 048

You deserved it 890

So frustrating!

By Justawoman - 04/06/2014 15:52 - Denmark - Aarhus

Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 563

You deserved it 8 629

Red-handed

By Anonymous - 08/08/2023 22:00 - United States - Wolcott

Today, I was really excited to fuck my boyfriend when I got home from work. When I got home, I found him excited and… fucking someone from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 189

By Average Lover - 27/10/2018 03:00

Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 724

You deserved it 746

kawa_fml 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:01

aw, that's nice of him!

Dfeline 2

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:06

Ever considered that he was trying to make you laugh, consequently brightening your mood? Be glad. Most FML boyfriend's would just tell you to stop whining and make them a sandwich.

Comments

Alexgoesfml 3

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:12

The thing is, you ASKED him to bring something round to your house. You expect a gift off your boyfriend to help cheer you up?

Zero2Sixty 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:15

okay so obviously your boyfriend thinks your a **** and enjoys sex

eliz3 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:29

She has a boyfriend, meaning we can safely assume she isn't a ****. And is it so weird to enjoy sex? Get out of the house more.

JarJarBinks_fml 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 21:16

If you don't enjoy sex, god help you

blalien 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 21:57

Asexuality is an actual psychological problem.

letitbe56 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 22:16

Well...it's in the DSM, but whether or not it's a "problem" is heavily debated.

annalou_fml 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 8:41

Just because she has a boyfriend doesn't mean you can assume she isn't a ****. I'm not saying she is or isn't, I don't know her, but having a boyfriend doesn't mean anything, and anyone who has ever been cheated on knows that. haha.

RabbitPressure1 6

Tuesday 20 September 2011 16:20

Wtf are you talking about? Who said anything about cheating??

Sketch_y 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:16

YDI. He's a caring guy and you're a selfish egotistical b*tch.

lilsurfergrlsp 3

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:19

how is this an FML? that's awesome! p.s. i would never ask my boyfriend to "bring me something nice" if i was having a bad day. just being with him would be enough.

wackodongo 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:20

you should be thankful

autumn_fml 1

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:21

i would love it if my boyfriend did that, it's hilarious. guys really do try their hardest to get things right.

Xrailer 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:21

give him a high five for me.

SimpleSimon 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:23

Lighten up, I'm a bloke and if my friend had done the equivalent and brought me a fake vag to cheer me up I'd be well pleased...

slack3r9 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:23

at least it was funny

letitbe56 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:28

Are you sure he wasn't trying to cheer you up with HUMOR? An enormous purple ***** would've got me laughing. Does laughter not cheer you up? People don't read minds. If you know what you want, ask for it. You can still even have it be a surprise by saying something like, "Can you bring over something yummy?" (if you want food) or "Could you bring over a funny movie?" (if you want a movie) etc.