Animals: Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed...

By Ser17 - 10/08/2011 17:47 - United States

Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 920

You deserved it 5 897

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Same thing different taste

By Shinobi_3 - 26/02/2010 17:43 - United States

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 833

You deserved it 29 322

By loserr - 28/02/2014 17:13 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 059

You deserved it 7 155

By Ew-dles - 09/09/2017 20:00

Today, I was finishing a bowl of ramen while watching a video. As I scooped up the last bits, I realized the clump of seasoning I had been saving for last was actually a dead fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 425

You deserved it 627

Ewwwwww

By Anonymous - 12/02/2017 08:00 - United States

Today, I ordered some food to get delivered. When I opened the bag a fly flew out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 093

You deserved it 549

Yummy

By munckncruncj15 - 22/10/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 240

You deserved it 36 935

The passenger

By F.L.Stubbs - 05/08/2023 00:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I was drinking coffee at work, while being surrounded by a lot of flies in the area I was working. Later, in the evening, I found a fly under my bottom denture plate. It'd been there for about 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 128

Kitchen nightmares

By Clumsy - 24/08/2021 11:01 - Brazil - Niterói

Today, I accepted I can't cook at all. Why? I burned myself cooking popcorn in a microwave oven. I accidentally burst the package open and a scorching kernel flew into my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 192

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 879

You deserved it 4 463

By Anonymous - 11/07/2017 14:40 - United States - Higginsville

Today, I was feeling down and decided to eat one of my roommate's chocolate Pop-Tarts to cheer myself up. I took a big bite and thought it tasted "off". It was full of live maggots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 232

You deserved it 2 647

Sounds delicious

By Bible John - 11/11/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, in a rush, I attempted to microwave leftover pizza slices. Unbeknownst to me, I accidentally hit the 'defrost' button, turning the pizza into a lukewarm soggy mess. I guess pizza should never be reheated in 'thaw mode'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 321

tnlander 20

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:05

Fresher meat than what's inside the hot pocket and at least you can identify what animal it is.

saIty 17

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:04

I wonder how much you could sell it for on eBay.

Comments

Wreakorofhavoc 1

Thursday 11 August 2011 5:10

YDI for eating a Hot Pocket

LizzJizz 16

Thursday 11 August 2011 5:12

That poor little fly...& just like that his 11 days of life were over.

okiidokii_fml 6

Thursday 11 August 2011 5:14

Or maybe the hot pockets people are filthy nasty or maybe I just don't like hot pockets

Mvideoplus 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 5:16

Ydi for thinking microwaving a hot pocket is preparing food.

LifeStory32 9

Thursday 11 August 2011 5:18

I hate flies

lolital_fml 10

Thursday 11 August 2011 5:19

didn't you know flies are one of the 4 major food groups?

andy_l 14

Thursday 11 August 2011 5:23

So ... did you eat it?

K_kanaka 26

Thursday 11 August 2011 5:27

One word... GROSS!

lisaonastick 7

Thursday 11 August 2011 5:27

Take a spoon, scoop the offending bit off, toss in the trash. Problem solved. That's if you really can't cope with throwing out a whole freaking Hot Pocket.