Kids: Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly...

By anon - 23/03/2015 02:24 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 323

You deserved it 2 926

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Same thing different taste

By Ginger_Gawd - 21/01/2014 03:34 - United States - Hialeah

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 490

You deserved it 46 093

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 952

You deserved it 7 429

By ElamentalAngel - 06/05/2009 17:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 331

You deserved it 83 876

By buttpain - 01/12/2016 18:29

Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 607

You deserved it 841

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 546

You deserved it 4 689

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 16:04 - United States - Pompano Beach

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 351

You deserved it 6 805

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 026

You deserved it 6 857

Not her fault neither mine

By Shut up loser! - 02/12/2019 03:00

Today, my 4 year old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 520

You deserved it 461

But he's only 5

By Anonymous - 18/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 750

You deserved it 710

By chuchie - 12/06/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month old nephew who hasn't pooped in 2 days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolls over and pees on my new carpet. I roll him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 538

You deserved it 6 647

triplebeerox 27

Monday 23 March 2015 14:10

You definitely need to talk to the mom so she doesn't think you're molesting her kid

Johnnycake23 42

Monday 23 March 2015 14:09

Kids are little demons!

Comments

horsegirl96 1

Monday 23 March 2015 15:20

I honestly read that you licked his armpits

dreamful_artist 14

Monday 23 March 2015 15:41

I bet that put a good image in her mind.

assassinbanana0 20

Monday 23 March 2015 18:40

I'm pretty sure she doesn't want that "good image" in her mind.

Johnnycake23 42

Monday 23 March 2015 15:44

My biggest fear is some kid will falsely accuse me of molestation. That shit ruins your life no matter how innocent you are!

Paras_800 27

Monday 23 March 2015 16:19

If you explain what you were doing, I bet the mom will understand.

heryseshta 9

Monday 23 March 2015 16:22

And people wonder why I don't like to interact with kids, this is fairly common.

ShadowGenius 12

Monday 23 March 2015 17:17

This reminds me of an episode of South Park

Johnnycake23 42

Monday 23 March 2015 18:11

My ex fiancee loved to tickle me because I'm a big dog and would squeal like a little girl. Hated that shit!

davincidasecond 24

Monday 23 March 2015 19:23

So there's a chance I might see you on Steve Wilkos now?

Stillo 25

Monday 23 March 2015 19:24

Kids.... Aren't they just great..... Meh

iRambo 12

Monday 23 March 2015 19:26

What did the mother say in this?

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 9 246

You deserved it 589

Today, despite the fact that I'm happy and in love, my spiteful brat of a 12 year-old keeps spreading hateful and disgusting lies about my boyfriend doing unspeakable things while I'm away on business. Her dad told me he's reporting my boyfriend to the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 556

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 166

Today, my recent ex-boyfriend stopped by my house with a well-dressed man. He reached into his pocket and handed me records that "prove" he never cheated on me. Oh, and the man next to him? His lawyer, who gave me a summons to court over payment for the items I smashed when I dumped him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 905

You deserved it 10 308

Today, I was in my drama class and I was standing behind the curtains. My friend accidentally bumped me into the bin that was hidden behind the curtain. Everyone heard me fall and they opened the curtains. My butt was stuck in it and my knees were in front of my face. No one helped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 230

You deserved it 2 927

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I agree, your life sucks 30 425

You deserved it 2 109

Today, I’ve been bricking it about telling my mom I’m pregnant but aren’t getting married to my boyfriend. My mom has a big thing about marriage. Then grandma told me mom’s just a hypocrite, because she got pregnant not only wasn’t she married, they had to do a DNA test to see who was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 162

Today, my wife expressed how much she misses going out dancing, so I told her I'd be glad to work on my two left feet with her. She said, "I already tried to teach you" before lamenting the time she's missed out on dancing with the cowboy guys she used to dance with. She's now watching dance videos 10ft away, looking all sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 113

Same thing different taste

It's not what you think

Not her fault neither mine

But he's only 5

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