Animals: Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to...

By tannerrosetx_1 - 06/04/2015 11:44 - United States - Irving

Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 123

You deserved it 3 722

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Same thing different taste

By "ironyyyyyyy" -_- - 31/10/2013 16:58 - United States - Marion

Today, I gave a short presentation at a neighborhood watch event to raise awareness of pickpocketing and to give tips on how to avoid becoming a victim of it. After I got back home, I realized my wallet was missing from my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 989

You deserved it 6 223

Expensive walk

By Yeahnooope - 16/07/2022 06:00

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and got robbed at knifepoint. The robber made away with my phone, cash, and debit cards… and the French Bulldog I’m still making monthly payments for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 281

Unattack dog

By woofwoof - 30/12/2014 04:17 - Turkey - Izmir

Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 029

You deserved it 2 995

Naughty boy

By Bad boy - 21/09/2023 06:00

Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 202

By UnluckyTeen - 22/10/2009 11:29 - Singapore

Today, I went to retrieve my stolen wallet from a train station. After I collected it, I returned to the place where I'd parked my bike, only to find that my bike had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 863

You deserved it 3 410

By fire0fisis - 03/02/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 103

You deserved it 2 315

By pplsuck - 25/09/2012 23:57 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 312

You deserved it 2 774

Very smart

By Leauge - 28/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Owensboro

Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 428

You deserved it 300

By baddoggy - 17/10/2010 08:13 - United States

Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 110

You deserved it 23 589

By Anonymous - 21/07/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 401

You deserved it 60 562

leopardwilliam 22

Monday 6 April 2015 19:09

Maybe you should rethink the bacon wallet

c_wyld 21

Monday 6 April 2015 19:09

Man that's ruff. He couldn't at least throw you a bone, I mean c'mon its Monday...

Comments

RAH94 17

Monday 6 April 2015 21:52

What a ruff day

Charles900 16

Monday 6 April 2015 22:17

Once had my dog completely tear apart a 20 dollar bill in my pocket. I hope your money is at least intact, OP.

mld4657 28

Monday 6 April 2015 22:24

your dog's a dick

Jujuboo_3 25

Monday 6 April 2015 22:58

Doggy got some skills. Take him around town with you(:

truecountrybitch 22

Tuesday 7 April 2015 0:33

stupid tanner!

amileah13 26

Tuesday 7 April 2015 4:46

Oh goodness :/ let's hope he didn't tear up or chew any money up!

Ice_Cold_Llama 17

Tuesday 7 April 2015 5:20

You deserved it m8

Mooglefox 23

Tuesday 7 April 2015 7:09

Your dog didn't try to be an ID thief, huh?

wyverntail 15

Tuesday 7 April 2015 13:01

Clearly he wanted to have the luxuries of being human.

germanballs 8

Tuesday 7 April 2015 19:31

So you stopped to get breakfast without your wallet? Hmm.

Paws_Cat 29

Tuesday 7 April 2015 23:36

That's not so bad actually. Just as long as the things inside are alright, that's a lot better than it being gone.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and I was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 760

You deserved it 15 563

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 684

You deserved it 11 188

The Top

Today, I’ve been single for so long that my mom’s friends ask her if I’m a lesbian, all because I’m 35 and not married yet. Truth is, my last relationship fucked me up so bad that the thought of falling in love with someone again makes me physically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 106

Today, I sent a question to a newspaper self-help column about how I often feel ignored. I quickly received a note telling me to not feel ignored, but due to the volume of questions, I would likely not receive a response. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 975

You deserved it 352

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend whom I love dearly because he doesn't share his feelings and won't commit. Yesterday, he wrote me a long love letter telling me he wanted to marry me. One of my kids had shoved it under my printer and I didn't find it until after he had moved out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 403

You deserved it 11 707

Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant to pick it up, I took out my keys and tried to unlock the front door. By the time I realized my mistake, everyone inside the restaurant had noticed and started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 314

You deserved it 24 588

Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 451

You deserved it 3 214

Today, after suspecting that my boyfriend was cheating while I was out of town, I came across an Instagram picture of him with another girl. I found out that he told her he was single. When I confronted him in a comment, the girl’s friend replied, "He clearly likes her more than you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 731

You deserved it 569