Intimacy: Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought...

By danggit3290 - 03/05/2009 17:17 - United States

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 009

You deserved it 89 422

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

Didn't see you there

By eatmyshipoopie - 18/12/2009 15:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 603

You deserved it 10 106

By shelbylove115 - 22/02/2013 05:35 - United States - Nevada City

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 614

You deserved it 35 174

By Anonymous - 14/03/2012 19:31 - United States

Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 869

You deserved it 33 072

By haunted - 24/11/2011 20:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 620

You deserved it 4 824

By Anonymous - 25/09/2014 15:52 - United States - Red Oak

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 373

You deserved it 10 912

By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 173

You deserved it 236

Late reaction

By fuck - 22/01/2020 14:00 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 330

You deserved it 660

By Burntintomyretinas - 19/09/2012 04:40 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 827

You deserved it 3 604

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 422

You deserved it 739

By Cynical - 30/03/2009 03:49 - United States

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 165

You deserved it 37 092

instrumentals 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 23:02

holy crap CLOSE THE DOOR.

dantheman931 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 23:04

YDI for not closing the door. On the other hand, FYL for having a stepdad who would stare at you while you're masturbating instead of, I dunno, walking away.

Comments

Ineffableturtle 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 23:04

next keep the lights on, lock the door and keep your glasses on, your just plain stupid

vocaloidtiger 12

Sunday 5 August 2012 11:38

You're*.

teentee401 36

Wednesday 23 July 2014 14:49

The irony

liinkinparkfan97 34

Tuesday 13 December 2016 3:59

You're* I wouldn't be calling other people stupid if you can't even use proper grammar.

xstaticdelta 6

Sunday 3 May 2009 23:05

YOU ****ING DESERVED IT MORON

Paula844 7

Sunday 3 May 2009 23:06

Agreed #10. This who situation is screwed up.

dj87jetsfootball 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 23:07

WOW! dat sucks i agree YLS

up4thebadguys 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 23:08

jeeze, whats with americans, just a bunch of chronic masturbatures! Sado's.....

rightonlooser 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 8:16

Youre an idiot. Way to insult your own intelligence.

iislix1ii 19

Tuesday 30 August 2011 7:46

Yeah but we can still kick your countries ass. So shush.

eradonnes 0

Thursday 20 October 2011 6:14

ooooohhhh gawd dayum right behind u my american friend!!! meheeco(mexico is right behind u) or would u rather have canada

Dallasluver19 14

Thursday 31 May 2012 22:17

Hahaha!!! It's true.. Americans are awesome !! We can be mean when we want to! Kill countries ass!

onyourmark 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 23:09

FYML, dude. **** your ma's life, for having a super creepy husband and a kid who's too lazy to close his door before he jerks off.

cyaneyedangel 2

Thursday 30 September 2010 8:06

Er, its a girl....

dj87jetsfootball 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 23:09

also if your a dude then y was your step dad staring

samiwammy 5

Tuesday 15 November 2011 3:42

*facepalm*

littlemaynadster 0

Thursday 16 February 2012 4:26

she's a girl..

survivalism 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 23:09

Man, I feel your pain. If only they made some sort of device that separated two rooms, and you couldn't see through it, and there was an even smaller device inside the original device that you unable to open said device, thus allowing for privacy. But, as far as I'm aware, no such thing exists, so FYL.