Miscellaneous: Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice...

By Lolrus - 28/03/2009 16:50 - Qatar

Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML

I agree, your life sucks 103 171

You deserved it 5 762

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Same thing different taste

Scary

By -___- - 14/09/2013 00:37 - Canada - Montréal

Today, while out jogging with my mom, we saw my boyfriend walking in our direction. When we reached him, he took one look at my makeup-less face, then made a huge show of screaming in disgust before calmly walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 811

You deserved it 5 646

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 489

You deserved it 6 820

Classy

By embaressed - 19/12/2009 09:44 - United States

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 840

You deserved it 3 086

By johnboy - 09/11/2010 17:08 - United States

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 830

You deserved it 37 131

By Anonymous - 23/08/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my Mom. I ran into my crush. A school dance is soon and he WAS just about to ask something but my mom glanced over and yelled "TAMPONS OR PADS, SWEETIE?!" He then changed his question to "Haha, so which?" And before I could say a word, my mother answered for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 002

You deserved it 3 667

Cougar

By Anonymous - 30/12/2020 02:08 - Canada

Today, I was at the laundromat doing laundry with my mom when the guy running the place asked if we were "together". I thought this was just because of Covid and social distancing, but it turns out he thought my mom was my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 76

By Fonz - 26/01/2010 14:39 - United States

Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 519

You deserved it 56 634

By schmoodles - 07/05/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 801

You deserved it 70 893

By Rach - 20/02/2010 13:58 - Ireland

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 116

You deserved it 40 744

By mothtal - 03/06/2012 16:13 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 555

You deserved it 2 264

lifeftl 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 20:20

man your mom is an awesome cockblock

bioclock 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 20:19

Oh my god. What?

Comments

melicakes 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 11:06

Hahaha. Damn. That sucks...

BBkid 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 7:33

OOOOOOOOO BURN!!! Mom FTW u got owned! Is she blind? Honestly, my aunts sister is blind-blind and she has a drivers license

Shyman4ever 0

Friday 7 August 2009 5:56

YDI for having a mom

Sindy_fml 4

Sunday 13 December 2009 0:40

#98 ******* dumbass hypocrite, do younot have a mom?

I_AM_NICK 0

Friday 1 January 2010 1:44

STFU 99 its her fault for having a mom.

leadrunner751 3

Friday 1 January 2010 10:05

now you don't have to worry about std's to worsen your period;(

fashionistaqueen 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 1:22

Im sorry that happened to you :(, if he stopped talking to you after that then what a jack*** cuz ALL girls have periods!

hackeyStar 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 7:46

OWNED

tortise34 4

Monday 15 February 2010 12:32

that mustve been so embarrasing.

NvG439 0

Tuesday 8 June 2010 20:14

damn!!!! that's pretty dick! I'm sorry :/

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Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 183

You deserved it 47 587

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 451

You deserved it 3 567

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Today, my wife’s step-sister asked if she could join us in a three way. My wife actually said yes, but we’re both gym addicts so I like toned girls like my wife, so even though her sister is a lovely lady, I'm not going to be able to get a boner for someone 10 stone overweight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 1 198

Today, my father described me as "the sort of sucker women marry then cheat on all the time." My mother agreed with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 254

You deserved it 3 615

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 170

You deserved it 29 811

Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 350

You deserved it 7 788

Today, I went to apply for classes at a college my parents signed me up to do dual credit with. Too bad they used my sister's social security number so I don't get credit for my old classes and my new application got thrown out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 002

You deserved it 236

Today, the kid next to me asked me, in all seriousness, if gay people have feelings like regular people. I'm gay, and I have to sit next to this barnacle until June. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 087

You deserved it 9 363

Same thing different taste

Scary

Classy

Cougar

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