Use one of their towels/washcloths. I (female) had a friend (male) that refused to buy toilet paper and we hung out there a lot. Got tired of his shit one day and grabbed one of his washcloths to wipe off with then folded it up and put it back. Doubt he ever used them anyway, he wasn't the cleanest of fellows.

******* awesome man!

Use the back of the sandpaper.. You can even crumble it a few times first to make it a little less stiff.

Bathe your dirty ass in the sink, then use the towel to grab a log and put it in the tank of the toilet. That'll show them!

I would have gone with sandpaper.

If use Saran rap. Then use ducktape to like tape it and get the smell like gone xD

If it's the friend's house, pick the option most likely to clog the blasted toilet. "Make a choice: call a plumber, tie your bladder in a knot, or do your business outside."

I want to play a game...

This is when you make the best of it and create some poop art on the walls.

You should have used the Saran Wrap and made a gloves