Love: Today, I was hanging out with my crush and wanted to see what...

By Anonymous - 23/12/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my crush and wanted to see what he thought of me. Instead of asking him straight, I tugged at my shirt, saying ''I don't know why I wear this top. I always look awful in it." He said, "Are you fishing for a fat joke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 622

You deserved it 45 489

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Same thing different taste

Awful line of inquiry

By teddyissmall - 14/04/2014 06:29 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 043

You deserved it 7 424

Our cross to bare

By sierra808 - 31/05/2009 09:43 - United States

Today, I was walking on the beach when I saw my crush walking towards me. I was thinking about what I was going to do while playing with my top that ties in the front. I decided that I was just going to smile. When we got closer to each other, I smiled and waved, and as I put my hand up it untied my top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 552

You deserved it 17 540

By awkword - 31/12/2013 17:47 - United States - Mckeesport

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 019

You deserved it 3 871

By AnnaNick - 14/02/2010 02:19 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 959

You deserved it 10 355

By rayraydayday - 21/03/2015 04:25 - United States - Englewood

Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I'd only shaved one armpit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 300

You deserved it 11 030

Mistaken identity

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 12:00

Today, I asked my crush out for coffee but she wanted to go shopping. When she pulled me into the dressing room for my opinion on a bikini, I told her this was too fast for a first date. She looked at me in absolute horror. She thought I was gay, as in a harmless gay friend she could take shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 238

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 489

You deserved it 6 820

By Anonymous - 23/03/2009 20:42 - United States

Today, I decided to play a joke on my boyfriend and planned to pretend that I found a thong in his gym bag. When he came home, I "confronted" him. After struggling through putting on my best face, he, unexpectedly confessed: "Look, babe, I'm sorry. It meant nothing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 507

You deserved it 94 543

By anonymous - 19/07/2012 22:31 - United States

Today, I was at work when a cute guy came up to me and said he liked my shirt. In a desperate attempt to say something back, I said, "Thanks, I like your shoelaces." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 947

You deserved it 6 776

By oops - 27/03/2014 23:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 132

You deserved it 7 121

tj265 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 9:02

gotta be straight up with guys we dont catch hints easy lol

you_freak 7

Thursday 23 December 2010 9:12

That is the worst bout of hinting I have ever heard! As for the guy ... WIN!

Comments

Amanda_Cait 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 9:07

well...were you fishing for one??

knoll4007 3

Thursday 23 December 2010 9:08

Prolly cause he's not straight, ... with you(;

SleazeDisease_fml 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 9:09

This would be your hint to seek someone cable of picking up on hints.

you_freak 7

Thursday 23 December 2010 9:12

That is the worst bout of hinting I have ever heard! As for the guy ... WIN!

Rocketgirl89 17

Thursday 23 December 2010 9:12

Ydi

lolwutdino 9

Thursday 23 December 2010 9:22

agreed. :|

Acousticpixie14 6

Thursday 23 December 2010 9:23

I hope you learned your lesson. You can't drop hints or fish for compliments with guys. Just go right out and say what you gotta say

adorkable_spazz 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 9:25

You should have just been blunt with him, sweetie. Most guys don't like when us girls do shit like that. Next time, just tell him. Okay? [:

omghellokitty90 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 9:26

I'd slap him and say no but you were fishing for a fist :D lolwat

patriotman 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 9:55

Agreed^

omghellokitty90 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 10:06

back hand face palm with the fist part of your hand =fist slap o.o

Pb25797051 0

Friday 24 December 2010 1:55

that's why you are single. you don't respect men..

addisonsmom 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 9:30

Sorry to hear that OP. Just forget the jerk, you'll find someone better anyways.

Pb25797051 0

Friday 24 December 2010 19:20

you are an idiot

Keywords

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The Top

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 419

You deserved it 365

Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 85

The Top

Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 763

You deserved it 3 663

Today, I accidentally swallowed a piece of gum. My doctor says it'll pass in 7-10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 747

Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 914

You deserved it 27 398

Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 019

You deserved it 7 520

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128 482

You deserved it 8 102

Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 676

You deserved it 52 375

Same thing different taste

Awful line of inquiry

Our cross to bare

Mistaken identity

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