Health: Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy...

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 263

You deserved it 3 435

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 02:24 - United States

Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 760

You deserved it 2 490

Hard pass

By Mew - 04/06/2009 12:07 - United States

Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 219

You deserved it 4 085

Such a rewarding career

By DirtyNurse - 05/12/2020 07:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 157

By FML - 12/11/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 417

You deserved it 3 280

We could be heroes…

By ally - 23/10/2020 14:01 - United States - Austin

Today, I was changing a wound bandage on one of my patient’s buttocks. I forgot to initial and date the bandage per hospital regulation. As I kneeled in to write, the patient let out the biggest loudest fart directly in my face. The worst part? Some of it sprayed out, some on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 413

You deserved it 161

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 16:00

Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the facility. When I intervened, she poked my belly then told me I was squishy and that I might explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 364

You deserved it 271

Bag for life

By Anonymous - 25/02/2021 04:57 - United States

Today, my ambulance got called out for a "stomach pain" patient. Upon assessment, the guy really did have stomach pain. His colostomy bag fell off a week ago, so to stop the crap from falling out, he duct taped it shut. It exploded when I helped him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 358

You deserved it 67

True hero

By MentalHealthWorker - 17/09/2020 02:05

Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 548

You deserved it 223

By Anonymous - 20/07/2014 05:23 - United States

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 533

You deserved it 4 433

Pissed

By kkmirw - 14/10/2019 05:00

Today, a colostomy bag exploded on me while I was waiting in line at the pharmacy. Yesterday, my shoes were peed on by a child while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 810

You deserved it 104

um_duh 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 12:22

What a shitty day eh?

lololol111 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 12:45

11 and 12, psychology is a completely different field then psychiatry

Comments

lizzi02 13

Thursday 28 May 2009 21:44

#61, an 'ostomy bag can replace part or whole of the colon, temporarily or permanently

AshleyBThaMilf 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 22:04

It's colostomy bag, not colonostomy bag.

DoctorManhattan 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 22:28

This is what separates us from the apes -- we put our shit in bags before throwing it at people. It's more civilized.

MoobyTheCow 2

Thursday 28 May 2009 22:31

"I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face." Yeah, I figured that out after the part where she threw the bag of poop at your face. I figured out there was poop in it, and that she threw it at your face. I deduced that the bag was launched at the front portion of your head by her, and that it was full of feces. I concluded that she chucked a shit-filled bag at your anterior skull.

sleeptonight 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 22:40

My friend just had a poop bag for about a month and a half after he got his colon removed and he sent me so many pictures of it when he thought it looked cool. It was disgusting. That was bad enough. I can't imagine it being thrown at me... #77 - Haha that's pretty great.

sarahharassarah 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 22:50

colostomy, not colonostomy

carash_fml 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 22:52

nasty shit!!

um_duh 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 23:20

Chocolate rain

awsnapitsrachel 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 23:30

whoever said that the OP deserved it, i hope karma punches you in the face with a bag of shit and you'll come on here and be like waaaaaah and then you know what? WE WILL LAUGH. because you're an asshole. no one deserves poop to the face. i'm sorry that happened to you. :(

jnic 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 23:45

#1, where did you even come up with that stereotype? And when is it okay to insult another nation because they use different slang terms than you? That's extremely ignorant. I'm so sick of the completely unfounded insults towards Americans on here, especially when you have NO idea which posters are from which countries. You know what that say about assuming things. And damn, OP... I hope you make a LOT of money.