Miscellaneous: Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging...

By cadillacfrank - 24/07/2011 21:01 - United States

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 816

You deserved it 36 563

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By Anonymous - 21/02/2024 22:00 - United States - Bisbee

Today, I decided to be adventurous and try a new exotic fruit. I bought a dragon fruit, but no one warned me that it looks better on Instagram than it tastes. Now I have a fridge full of disappointment and a dragon fruit that's more like a dragon letdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 611

By Coldsnap - 12/08/2011 17:25 - Sweden

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 837

You deserved it 5 013

By anonymous - 21/10/2013 06:53 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 289

You deserved it 7 200

By my bravado's gonna kill me one day - 10/08/2018 13:00

Today, as a big fan of spicy food and a huge challenge seeker, I decided to try the hottest burger I could order. Despite being warned by a waitress, I went for it. After eating a third, I had trouble breathing from the spiciness. The waitress was smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264

You deserved it 3 874

Thanks, I hate it

By CabbageFart92 - 04/09/2017 01:30

Today, a package was delivered to my house. Thinking it was my new blender, I hurriedly brought it in to open it. Inside the box was an assortment of rotten vegetables that stank like Satan's asshole. I have no idea who it's from or why they hate me so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 614

You deserved it 308

By :x - 03/02/2016 15:40 - United States - Richmond

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 896

You deserved it 5 352

By Anonymous - 11/05/2015 16:06 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 302

You deserved it 4 516

By melon squash - 11/09/2016 10:15 - Belgium - Kessel-lo

Today, I lifted up a watermelon, not realising it had gone bad. The thing exploded like an alien giving birth. Stinking juice and rotten inside all over the kitchen. Even behind the build-in closets. It smells like rotten fruit cheese and I can't reach behind the closets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 555

You deserved it 1 321

Fermentation

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 08:28 - United States

Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 724

You deserved it 40 805

By Ammile - 25/12/2018 04:00

Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 900

You deserved it 196

Sesh54 7

Monday 25 July 2011 0:29

uhh......well worded and described I guess........

dolphincheddar 10

Monday 25 July 2011 0:41

so you have a reputation of eating shit from the Bowels of Satan and you wanted to keep it? is this charlie sheens fml?

Comments

bigmanj28 0

Monday 25 July 2011 0:38

Did you do it?

laxitup41 0

Monday 25 July 2011 0:42

that sucks

jackrileymac 4

Monday 25 July 2011 0:43

your the one who took the bet!

maddylovesu 5

Monday 25 July 2011 2:21

ya no shit

jackrileymac 4

Monday 25 July 2011 5:29

yea shit.

broomhildo 19

Monday 25 July 2011 0:44

I love your choice of wording. And to everyone wondering what it is, try google.

Alisa172 0

Monday 25 July 2011 0:44

how do u know what cat poop tastes like?

G6chick 0

Monday 25 July 2011 0:49

how do u know what that tastes like

I_Told_YouSo 5

Monday 25 July 2011 0:51

Durian is a well known fruit in Asian country. Some say it smells bad but others say it smells sweet. It tastes GOOD! Unless it tastes like dried cat shit then it's not good.

llamaguru 9

Monday 25 July 2011 0:51

i loveee durian!:o

gTOtheT 7

Monday 25 July 2011 0:52

I thought it just smelled bad but tasted delicious... but I'll take your word on it op although I am wondering how you know what cat poo tastes like...