Kids: Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom....

By Anonymous - 11/02/2010 13:33 - United States

Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 517

You deserved it 7 912

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Same thing different taste

By Bob - 20/06/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 065

You deserved it 4 728

Plug it

By Dumbblonde - 03/05/2009 15:15 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. She told me she wanted to go to the park, so we did. As we were walking back, I was carrying her on my back. When we were almost at the front door, she told me she had to pee. I told her to hold it in for a second. As we were walking through the door, I felt a warm spot on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 566

You deserved it 16 902

By sdasdflkjas - 30/05/2009 04:24 - United States

Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 131

You deserved it 6 357

Chub rub

By Anonymous - 19/03/2021 13:59 - United States - Malvern

Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 187

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 594

You deserved it 3 172

By thesitter - 10/05/2009 13:18 - United States

Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen and paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see but then said, "Wait! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 327

You deserved it 8 162

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 01:55 - United States - Port Orchard

Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 555

You deserved it 9 317

Surprise!

By ilana - 10/02/2012 09:51 - United States

Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 420

You deserved it 3 346

Sticky

By Aunjy - 05/05/2013 20:49 - United States - Marmora

Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 563

You deserved it 4 278

By Monroe - 23/06/2011 22:30 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my cousin when I realized my aunt didn't tell me where the diapers were. I searched the entire house, but I had no luck. Then my cousin ripped off the diaper she was wearing and peed on the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 325

You deserved it 4 244

kel_pie 1

Thursday 11 February 2010 20:06

why would be holding a kid that had no pants on ...

imperfectclarity 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 20:06

Why was he sitting on your lap without pants?? Ew.

Comments

lepercaunsal 0

Friday 12 February 2010 0:45

sooooooooo u didn't feal it when he was going?

Brianne11 0

Friday 12 February 2010 0:59

why the hell did he have no pants on??

rawr_forever 0

Friday 12 February 2010 1:03

pretty much like everyone said, why was there a pantsless kid on your lap... ? must I say... suspicious!!!! GET SOME DAMN PANTS ON THAT BABY!!!!!!!!!

aam12 0

Friday 12 February 2010 1:03

why were you holding someone else's kid on your lap while he wasn't wearing pants?!

aam12 0

Friday 12 February 2010 1:07

wanna dance with no pants on! HOLLA!

Quest_ 13

Friday 12 February 2010 1:17

I really like the way you so nonchalantly added "he wasn't wearing pants" as the punchline to this FML, like we're all meant to laugh and be merry. You didn't expect a barrage of "WTF" comments as to why: a) There was a partially naked child who is old enough to talk on your lap. b) You did not notice his urine/shit drizzling into your throbbing muff.