Kids: Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt...

By KPKallery - 05/06/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 792

You deserved it 11 744

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Same thing different taste

Stealthy

By jessye1182 - 11/05/2012 23:16 - United States - Yaphank

Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 705

You deserved it 6 263

By peestain - 25/10/2010 10:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 664

You deserved it 32 119

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 267

You deserved it 3 557

By Anonymous - 23/03/2013 23:47 - United States

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 183

You deserved it 5 255

By Anonymous - 16/04/2011 23:42 - United States

Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year old boy, and an 19 month old girl. I was chasing them around the house having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change the 3 year old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 141

You deserved it 11 241

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 709

You deserved it 7 575

By Noname - 09/03/2009 23:36 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting my co-workers son. He was eating jell-o and spilt it on his top, so I pulled off his pj's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 992

You deserved it 6 053

By Anonymous - 02/03/2012 08:30 - Belgium

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 592

You deserved it 4 428

Demon child

By Some Guy - 12/10/2015 00:54 - United States - Allen

Today, I was babysitting a two year-old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me, started crying, and stabbed me right in the foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 361

You deserved it 2 769

By ellen77 - 13/09/2013 05:55 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 027

You deserved it 5 431

FPsLife 5

Friday 5 June 2009 12:16

"It's fine... I'll just kill you later."

kerrygirl 13

Friday 5 June 2009 12:09

sounds fair...

Comments

mojado818 0

Friday 5 June 2009 12:33

ROFL! Totally deserved, for breaking his toy and believing him.

jaguar895 0

Friday 5 June 2009 12:34

Wow what a jerk

lifeisnotlikecho 0

Friday 5 June 2009 12:35

YDI you ******* toy breaker. I'd beat you myself if I could. THAT'S LIKE $.50 OF MATERIAL RIGHT THERE!!!!

koala_king 0

Friday 5 June 2009 12:37

Lol #10 agree. Cant ever trust a kid..... Lol jk

smurfboy15 0

Friday 5 June 2009 12:37

I personnaly would have thrown him through a window if he hit me, but whatever...

bubbles15100 0

Friday 5 June 2009 12:43

At least we finally get to read a fml that's not about a boyfriend...

blondie13_fml 0

Friday 5 June 2009 12:45

I guess it wasn't fine...

j3r3myfong 0

Friday 5 June 2009 12:45

OP = over powered

SarahPicc 3

Sunday 16 January 2011 5:10

that's not what it means on here...

onepctech 0

Friday 5 June 2009 12:50

You let some kid beat you? Next time you have to watch him run up to him and kick him in the face. Tell the parents he ran into the wall.

fobchick 0

Friday 5 June 2009 12:50

One word: Evil.

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Money Birthday Cute Kids Weird Awkward Love Health Abuse Relatable Social Media Scams Education Parents School Anger issues Teenagers Family Relationship advice Capitalism Miscellaneous Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee

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I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 192

Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 733

You deserved it 229

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 29 926

You deserved it 4 137

Today, at work, a customer told me that my teeth would make a very pretty necklace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 348

You deserved it 1 976

Today, my "friend" returned my Survival Edition of Fallout 3. I should be happy, but he scratched it all to hell. My dad paid nearly $500 for it. He refuses to pay for it to be fixed or buy me a new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 326

You deserved it 780

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 538

You deserved it 4 560

Today, I woke up to a voicemail from my manager saying I had the day off. Excited, I made plans with my friends. A few minutes ago I got a call from my other manager yelling at me for not showing up, and the original manager revealed he had me confused with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 766

You deserved it 2 247

Today, on the way home from a night out, I crossed the main road in my town via the traffic lights. As I got to the other side, a guy turned to his two friends and 'whispered' with a look of disgust, "I would have run that one over." Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 606

You deserved it 2 688

Same thing different taste

Stealthy

Demon child

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