Health: Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting...

By barbie - 18/05/2009 05:48 - United States

Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting on a two-person tube slide. As I went to sit in the front I noticed the lifeguard looking me up and down, what I assumed was him checking me out. I found out I was wrong when he said, "Heaviest in back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 745

You deserved it 10 604

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Same thing different taste

By klutz - 10/08/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 851

You deserved it 56 826

Sorry, but…

By Anonymous - 28/07/2019 14:00

Today, I was at a waterpark with my friends, waiting in line for about 45 minutes to go on the biggest ride there. When it was finally our turn, the lifeguard at the top pulled me over and measured me to see if I was tall enough. I wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 876

You deserved it 466

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 435

You deserved it 7 721

Baywatch

By Anonymous - 02/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 344

You deserved it 488

Bodyshaming

By auslander - 12/08/2009 20:13 - Switzerland

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year-old boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 758

You deserved it 7 920

By wrongman - 14/02/2018 19:00

Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 609

You deserved it 7 696

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 129

You deserved it 6 203

By Anonymous - 09/08/2009 13:27 - Canada

Today, I worked at my job at an amusement park at one of the roller coasters. I have to go around and make sure that every seat belt is around the passenger. I saw my boyfriend in a seat and ran over to say hi. I saw a girl next to him. I had to strap down my cheating boyfriend and the new girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 958

You deserved it 3 896

By spaghett - 29/08/2016 20:32 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 153

You deserved it 1 812

By Anonymous - 18/05/2012 19:19 - United States - Paterson

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 434

You deserved it 3 543

scorpiogirl666 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:15

"what I assumed was him checking me out" stuck up much?

kristina3514 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:16

where does it say she's fat? She could just have a really scrawny boyfriend!

Comments

RedJester23 6

Thursday 21 May 2009 21:24

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA that is hilarious F your boyfriend's life

RuralNinja 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 21:37

Lose some weight then tubby.

Persisted 0

Friday 22 May 2009 1:21

Couple of things that don't help sympathy. "Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting on a two-person tube slide. As I went to sit in the front I noticed the lifeguard looking me up and down, what I assumed was him checking me out. I found out I was wrong when he proceeded to say, "Heaviest in back." FML" 1. "Assumed was him checking me out" That's pretty presumptuous and conceited. There is no denying it. He's a LIFEGUARD, last time I checked lifeguards don't go around blindfolded. 2. "I noticed the lifeguard looking me up and down" Doesn't mean the lifeguard is rude. If he had gone into your face and said that comment, then he would be rude. But he didn't. In fact, how did you know he was talking about you and not just looking at the people going onto the slide? Self-conscious much?

ocean3684 0

Friday 22 May 2009 11:24

maby your boyfriend is just really skinny

shanyo 0

Friday 22 May 2009 17:34

what a dick. he should have just let it go.. people don't know when to close their mouths sometimes.

un_known_fml 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 17:15

You know, the lifeguard is not prejudiced - so maybe you should check if you do need to lose a few pounds.

theodivine 0

Monday 25 May 2009 20:54

Hey, just because you are heavier than your boyfriend doesn't mean you're fat. I'm a size 8, and my last boyfriend weighed less than me, and I'm definitely not fat, he was just scrawny. These people calling you fat are just disappointed with their own boring lives and want to make someone else feel worse than they already do about their sad insignificance. Stay strong.

sama_fml 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 22:32

ignore all those people calling you fat, i bet they're even fatter than you in real life, but are so insecure about themselves, they decide to take it out on you. i'll guarantee you at least half the people saying "you're so fat" need to hit the gym themselves. and as for the lifeguard, he wasn't being mean, just frank. maybe the other people were all skinny, i dunno, but don't take it personally.