Love: Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be...

By look before you speak - 09/02/2014 07:12 - United States

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 618

You deserved it 13 818

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Same thing different taste

By KeepOnTruckin' - 18/05/2019 17:50

Today, I had to help my best friend plan his upcoming date with the girl he doesn't know I'm secretly in love with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 904

You deserved it 559

By Aaron - 09/12/2012 23:34 - United States - Matthews

Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 694

You deserved it 4 904

In the zone

By Anonymous - 12/09/2019 20:05

Today, I was flirting with a girl I like when she confessed she was into another guy. I then proceeded to wingman for that guy, telling her to take her shot with him before the chance went away. Effectively sticking myself into the friendzone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 1 669

By newmoongirl1036 - 13/07/2015 02:03 - United States - Chicago

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 962

You deserved it 3 356

"Friend"

By BarCrush - 22/02/2018 19:00

Today, and for the past two months, I've been going to the bar with my friends quite regularly because I have a massive crush on the cute bartender. Being quite shy, I asked my friend if he could be my wingman so I could finally talk to her properly. He took her home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 797

You deserved it 976

By Anonymous - 03/12/2010 21:18 - Argentina

Today, a guy I've liked for a while asked if he could talk to me during break. He'd never done that before, so I was excited and said yes. As soon as we both sat down, he asked if I'd help him get a date with my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 588

You deserved it 3 294

Baywatch

By Anonymous - 02/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 344

You deserved it 488

By spaghett - 29/08/2016 20:32 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 153

You deserved it 1 812

Denied

By uglyswimmer - 23/04/2009 01:58 - United States

Today, I was talking to a swimmer I just met. I saw a cute guy and whispered to her, "That guy is hot." She asked "Who?" I pointed at him. She turned to see him, then turned back to me and said "Ew, that's my brother." She went to him, whispered something. He turned around to see me and said, "EW." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 645

You deserved it 7 747

By babydoll13211 - 04/09/2009 21:36 - United States

Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked, then said, "You know he can't swim right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 318

You deserved it 66 291

mea_iloveskiing 26

Sunday 9 February 2014 16:10

Now I wonder what her reaction was.

killuhand 12

Sunday 9 February 2014 16:10

thats one way to do it i guess

Comments

weveallbeenthere 30

Sunday 9 February 2014 17:05

at least she knew that you liked her. good luck.

LumpLegacy 15

Sunday 9 February 2014 17:06

Man wingman fail. As wingman he should have been on look out. I hope it went well for ya tho

jimmy_poison 19

Sunday 9 February 2014 19:15

I was thinking the same thing #31. Worst wingman ever!

1_2_chickadoo 3

Sunday 9 February 2014 17:17

dakid87 10

Sunday 9 February 2014 17:20

Is this a suspense? I'm curious to know What happened after lol

thissexyguy96 11

Sunday 9 February 2014 17:25

So the question is are you going to go on date with her or not

arre2006 19

Sunday 9 February 2014 17:30

You dumbass

sarneeley 14

Sunday 9 February 2014 17:39

I love breastfeeding my son. He stares at my face and occasionally smiles at me during it's so sweet.

swick25 22

Sunday 9 February 2014 17:57

I think you commented on the wrong FML!!! ^

Nbc27 5

Sunday 9 February 2014 18:17

follow up needed.

AestheticSynthia 7

Sunday 9 February 2014 18:25

thats actually a good way to win a date lol

ckerane 16

Sunday 9 February 2014 18:29

your wing man must have seen her stood there, hope you got the date after all that effort

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Today, I was scrolling through a more risqué/dark/dirty humor Facebook page. I thoughtlessly set my phone down to help my cousin with a translation for about a minute. When I went to grab my phone, I saw, front and center, a photo edit of Chewbacca with his "lipstick" out. No wonder she kept glancing down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 420

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I agree, your life sucks 61 224

You deserved it 4 768

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 24 988

You deserved it 7 469

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around when he accidentally elbowed me in the eye and I couldn't see. He rolled over, turned on the football game, and told me to just walk upstairs and get ice. He also added that he would like a coke while I am up there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 948

You deserved it 5 302

Today, I turned up to my job interview ready for any question, with impeccable references and previous work experience. Then I saw that one of my interviewers was the lady I accidentally hit with my bicycle last week. She still has stitches in her cheek. No job for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 974

You deserved it 1 140

Today, I was watching Ratatouille. Piece of advice for starving students: never watch it when you've only eaten two apples in two days, or you'll find yourself in the ridiculous position of being jealous of a fucking rat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 859

You deserved it 8 124

Today, like every other day since I moved into this apartment a year ago, the construction crew started their noisy work at 5:30 in the morning. When I moved in I was promised it was a quiet neighborhood; only offices. What have they been building in the meantime? Three nightclubs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 570

You deserved it 279

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. My wife came in and thought I was jerking him off. She wouldn't believe my explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 709

You deserved it 1 127