Love: Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing... - FML

By Anonymous - 09/06/2010 04:41 - United States

Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 167

You deserved it 64 328

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By 117halo12345 - 17/12/2015 21:37 - United States - Sedgewickville

Today, I was showing my 4 year old some of my fire magic tricks. I ended up getting 2nd degree burns on my left hand and burnt off half of her hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 280

You deserved it 21 717

By blck - 01/01/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 672

You deserved it 3 927

By failure as a parent - 11/05/2013 21:19 - United States - Bound Brook

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 417

You deserved it 6 287

By CandlesSuck - 02/11/2009 03:44 - Canada

Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 812

You deserved it 29 349

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 22:00

Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 961

You deserved it 284

Cook out

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 432

Technically…

By I followed her orders! - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 441

By Anonymous - 30/11/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 288

You deserved it 72 514

By fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 189

You deserved it 8 408

By Anonymous - 01/08/2011 04:28 - United States

Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 148

You deserved it 5 775

Next

Top comments

pianoman05st 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 12:00

you don't do a trick like this inside a house glad she's pressing charges

menother 2

Wednesday 9 June 2010 11:58

This is why you don't learn FIRE tricks from videos online that could easily be doctored. Although you probably need one now. Doesn't it take YEARS of practice for someone to learn this kind of trick in the real world?

Comments

Lisa89 3

Wednesday 9 June 2010 12:16

YDI... for playing with fire, INSIDE her bedroom

lettertjes 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 12:16

Well that's dumb.

LOL_Noobs 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 12:20

never play with fire?

brainonska08 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 12:23

they say "don't try this at home" for a reason!

hhknighter 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 12:39

better get back online and learn how to find a lawyer

Rik_fml 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 12:40

Doing a fire breathing trick you got from the Internet is stupid enough,but doing it indoors just goes to show how much of a retard you really are.YDI

Jenmaree 9

Wednesday 9 June 2010 12:44

Indoors? YDI idiot!

wolfman860 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 12:44

are you retarted? your supposed to do it outside

Mirorbo 26

Wednesday 9 June 2010 12:51

Darling, you KNOW it's a bad idea when "fire breathing trick" and "online" are in the same sentence.

texassmile05 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 12:51

YDI... Ya moron.

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The Top

Today, I learned my dad is the kindest, most generous, hard-working soul anyone has ever met. He'll give someone the shirt off his back if they need help. Except for us, his immediate family, whom he screams and cusses at daily, expects to do everything ourselves, and thinks we're incompetent when we need help. FML

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You deserved it 91

Today, it's only been two months since my daughter has owned her home and now she wants to move back to my house because she lost her job and can’t afford the mortgage, plus she got pregnant off a one-night stand and needs my help with the baby. Bang goes my plans for a quiet retirement. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 43 368

You deserved it 23 959

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 973

You deserved it 36 992

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I agree, your life sucks 34 314

You deserved it 3 971

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I agree, your life sucks 58 554

You deserved it 6 950

Today, I told my husband that when I get my birth control taken out later this year, I would like to take a break from it for a while. He just said, "Condoms are too expensive and I don't want to waste $2 every time we do it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 044

You deserved it 2 642

Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 580

You deserved it 4 302