Miscellaneous: Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends...

By funnymanjoe - 14/09/2011 11:06 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 753

You deserved it 5 735

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Same thing different taste

By holyshart - 05/06/2012 09:03 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 534

You deserved it 2 566

By Anonymous - 25/01/2017 04:00

Today, my roommates gathered together to tell me that they all took turns spitting in my drinks in the fridge, all because I told on them for smoking pot in the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 251

You deserved it 3 360

By calliefml - 26/04/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 783

You deserved it 6 163

By Annomymous - 23/01/2015 18:12 - United States - Clarkston

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 878

You deserved it 4 889

By KindaLooksLikeCocaine - 23/09/2015 23:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 731

You deserved it 1 749

By GonnaLockUpMySpices - 30/10/2015 01:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 937

You deserved it 1 832

By mario - 02/03/2019 19:00 - United States - Corvallis

Today, my roommate ran out of filter tips so he cut up my chemistry note cards for his joints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 310

You deserved it 200

Such a narc

By hatetheroommate - 16/04/2009 18:43 - United States

Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 782

You deserved it 130 288

By a.white - 11/12/2013 11:58 - United States - Cheltenham

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 368

You deserved it 2 813

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 789

You deserved it 9 717

eurostar710 11

Wednesday 14 September 2011 16:03

Sounds like a cool way to smoke. I'll have to try it some time haha.

jjoyce6 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 18:43

Were they playing it on a high note?

Comments

Skye94 8

Wednesday 14 September 2011 21:10

That's AWESOME! :)

Kueezy 6

Wednesday 14 September 2011 21:18

Puff puff pass!!

FMLoverAgain 7

Wednesday 14 September 2011 21:29

Crack their crack heads with it!

kenziem18 0

Friday 16 September 2011 4:59

they are potheads not crack heads.. very big difference.

foregip 5

Wednesday 14 September 2011 21:39

I play the base clarinet!

llamalpaca382 13

Thursday 15 September 2011 0:44

I'd find that more believable if you could spell it right...

bellatrix0805 2

Thursday 19 July 2012 2:46

no one cares sorry!

fourty_two 7

Wednesday 14 September 2011 21:46

Bahahaha, that sounds awesome.

bellatrix0805 2

Thursday 19 July 2012 2:48

*forty

Calyx_fml 21

Wednesday 14 September 2011 21:48

It does look like a bong... with 57 carbs.

brii_love007 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 22:18

classic :)

bj611bj 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 22:18

Awesome

bj611bj 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 22:25

I did this with my trombone....

wildfiresgirl 7

Wednesday 14 September 2011 23:02

Well, they had to make due with what was around! Lol

Keywords

Gamers Love Video games Gross Weird Health First Dates Smells Parents Technology Annoying Kids Jealousy Animals Dogs Pranks AITA Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Birthday Cute Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams

The Top

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 684

You deserved it 11 188

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 242

You deserved it 37 869

The Top

Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 170

Today, I saw photos of my roommate a recent party. OK, I'll admit I'm a little dark-skinned, but was it really necessary for him to color his face in black marker so he could go as "me" for a Halloween party? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 279

You deserved it 213

Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 431

You deserved it 13 180

Today, we did a Secret Santa at work and instead of buying cringe romance novels and candy for this other girl, I bought her a fantasy novel and a bag of dried mangos. When I went to leave for the day, I found both of my thoughtful gifts in the trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 778

Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 252

You deserved it 63 216

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 752

You deserved it 4 649

Same thing different taste

Such a narc

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