Miscellaneous: Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends...

By funnymanjoe - 14/09/2011 11:06 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 753

You deserved it 5 735

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By holyshart - 05/06/2012 09:03 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 534

You deserved it 2 566

By Anonymous - 25/01/2017 04:00

Today, my roommates gathered together to tell me that they all took turns spitting in my drinks in the fridge, all because I told on them for smoking pot in the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 252

You deserved it 3 361

By calliefml - 26/04/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 785

You deserved it 6 163

By Annomymous - 23/01/2015 18:12 - United States - Clarkston

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 878

You deserved it 4 889

By KindaLooksLikeCocaine - 23/09/2015 23:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 733

You deserved it 1 749

By GonnaLockUpMySpices - 30/10/2015 01:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 937

You deserved it 1 833

By mario - 02/03/2019 19:00 - United States - Corvallis

Today, my roommate ran out of filter tips so he cut up my chemistry note cards for his joints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 310

You deserved it 200

Such a narc

By hatetheroommate - 16/04/2009 18:43 - United States

Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 782

You deserved it 130 288

By a.white - 11/12/2013 11:58 - United States - Cheltenham

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 369

You deserved it 2 813

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 789

You deserved it 9 718

eurostar710 11

Wednesday 14 September 2011 16:03

Sounds like a cool way to smoke. I'll have to try it some time haha.

jjoyce6 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 18:43

Were they playing it on a high note?

Comments

alyssajoi 0

Friday 16 September 2011 5:41

hmm, good idea! wasn't cool to use your clarinet though

teenage_messup 0

Friday 16 September 2011 5:57

Smart roommate ;)

skatinboi 2

Friday 16 September 2011 6:08

Lolol

shadower 0

Friday 16 September 2011 6:16

i play Bb clarinet that must suck dude

fuzdrop 0

Friday 16 September 2011 7:29

I'd do the same

JamesMusicus 2

Friday 16 September 2011 15:17

Let us musicians know if it changed the tone quality!

xxjimmyboixx 0

Friday 16 September 2011 15:23

is your room mate mcgiver?

Tragic 2

Friday 16 September 2011 21:37

Leave it to potheads to damage an expensive instrument. Illinois... ISU by any chance?

thekatielynn143 0

Saturday 17 September 2011 2:12

I play bass clarinet

duzzyfucks 0

Saturday 17 September 2011 4:34

That's awesome lool

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Gross Family Health Sex Intimacy Awkward Neighbours Lonely Dreams Love Work Management Jealousy Mental health Relationship advice Relatable Miscellaneous Friends Kids Abuse Parents Healthy Lifestyle Food Ironic Gifts Mother in law Birthday Money Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I received a rejection e-mail from a potential employer I interviewed with. I asked for some feedback and they said I didn't seem interested. I had showed extensive interest, even brought up some of the company's recent events, and literally said, "I'm very interested in this position." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 437

You deserved it 437

Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only woman out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 648

You deserved it 3 115

The Top

Today, I was rehearsing for a school play. My drama teacher keeps criticising the part where I fake-trip, saying I make it look terribly fake. During today's rehearsal, I actually tripped for real, and smashed my kneecaps against the floor with a scream. He still said my "acting" sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 508

You deserved it 2 905

Today, like every other day since I moved into this apartment a year ago, the construction crew started their noisy work at 5:30 in the morning. When I moved in I was promised it was a quiet neighborhood; only offices. What have they been building in the meantime? Three nightclubs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 570

You deserved it 279

Today, I woke up my friend and had him take me to the ER. I had trouble breathing and my chest hurt, so the doctor put me on an EKG and took X-rays. I had strained my chest lifting weights at the gym earlier that day and pulled a muscle, and now thanks to my massive anxiety I have a $700 hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 330

You deserved it 1 955

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 867

You deserved it 5 354

Today on my birthday, my wife thought it would be a good idea to get matching tattoos. Our tattoo artist happened to be her ex-boyfriend. I sat and listened to them talk about their relationship and how they should stay in touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 126

You deserved it 324

Today, both toilets in my house were occupied, so I had to shit outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 181

Same thing different taste

Such a narc

Top comments

Comments