Miscellaneous: Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends...

By funnymanjoe - 14/09/2011 11:06 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 753

You deserved it 5 735

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Same thing different taste

By holyshart - 05/06/2012 09:03 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 534

You deserved it 2 566

By Anonymous - 25/01/2017 04:00

Today, my roommates gathered together to tell me that they all took turns spitting in my drinks in the fridge, all because I told on them for smoking pot in the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 252

You deserved it 3 361

By calliefml - 26/04/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 785

You deserved it 6 163

By Annomymous - 23/01/2015 18:12 - United States - Clarkston

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 878

You deserved it 4 889

By KindaLooksLikeCocaine - 23/09/2015 23:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 733

You deserved it 1 749

By GonnaLockUpMySpices - 30/10/2015 01:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 937

You deserved it 1 833

By mario - 02/03/2019 19:00 - United States - Corvallis

Today, my roommate ran out of filter tips so he cut up my chemistry note cards for his joints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 310

You deserved it 200

Such a narc

By hatetheroommate - 16/04/2009 18:43 - United States

Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 782

You deserved it 130 288

By a.white - 11/12/2013 11:58 - United States - Cheltenham

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 369

You deserved it 2 813

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 789

You deserved it 9 718

eurostar710 11

Wednesday 14 September 2011 16:03

Sounds like a cool way to smoke. I'll have to try it some time haha.

jjoyce6 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 18:43

Were they playing it on a high note?

Comments

jdawg2010 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 4:43

....musical bong?

YoNdO15 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 4:55

sorry about that bro. just kidding. that wasn't me :)

cripkillinking 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 5:10

Thats whatsup nigga

xFullMoonHeartx 7

Thursday 15 September 2011 6:32

Hopefully it wasn't wooden. Plastic would be too bad. Your pads will prolly be screwed though. Bass ftw!

OutcastRemix 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 6:51

Have fun in band! :3

Red_Eyed 3

Thursday 15 September 2011 7:17

im def tryin that, nd thats not rly an fml

pinkpolarbear 8

Thursday 15 September 2011 7:32

This made me laugh out loud, but sorry, that sucks

writergirl23 19

Thursday 15 September 2011 8:12

Haha no wonder you were loving playing your clarinet :) Hey at least it wasn't heroin or cocaine or P, that shit's waay worse

LolaSoDebonair 2

Thursday 15 September 2011 8:14

Hahaha that's ******* AWESOME !!!!

lsd_25 8

Thursday 15 September 2011 8:18

your roommate and his friends are pioneers and innovators. maybe u should try it and see if it works

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The Top

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 961

You deserved it 12 659

Today, I told my man that, in order to get me ready for sex within a minute whenever he wants, he only needs to relearn how to go down on me, which he used to do splendidly but has somehow forgotten. He apparently considers this too much effort and will rather keep groping me unsuccessfully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 109

The Top

Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 1 182

Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 539

You deserved it 53 228

Today, multiple people informed my girlfriend that I’m cheating on her. I’m not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 002

You deserved it 125

Today, I walked into pawn shop and found a nice laptop which I inspected after I thought I lost mine months ago. Turns out my ex pawned it after having it at her place all this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 311

You deserved it 1 247

Today, during an hour-long drive, my sister told me she's lost her "faith in humanity", because one of her friends bought his 8-year-old son an iPad. She uses this stupid expression all the time, and I got so pissed off that I forgot to brake at a red light, rear-ending the car in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 481

You deserved it 51 798

Today, I think all those jokes my wife made about becoming an alcoholic during quarantine may be true. She came back from the weekly shopping today with 7 bottles of wine, a bottle of tequila and a 30-pack of beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 399

You deserved it 264

Same thing different taste

Such a narc

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