Miscellaneous: Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room....

By Anonymous - 12/01/2010 02:25 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room. I promptly covered my eyes and muttered something about my innocence being stolen from me. My dad looked up from the couch, and mentioned that he had heard my innocence being stolen by Jake, my boyfriend from 2 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 304

You deserved it 40 832

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Same thing different taste

Method acting

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:08 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 637

You deserved it 45 049

By Rob - 07/11/2018 03:00

Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 840

You deserved it 379

By ohemgee23 - 19/02/2010 05:31 - United States

Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 549

You deserved it 20 748

By breeeeeh - 21/06/2013 22:18 - France - Brou-sur-chantereine

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 679

You deserved it 69 921

By Anonymous - 01/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 425

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 19/09/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 1 180

By talkssuck - 30/03/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 459

You deserved it 18 533

By Anonymous - 03/08/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 096

You deserved it 42 129

By Anonymous - 13/02/2013 05:07 - United States - Topeka

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 562

You deserved it 56 752

WTF? FML!

By roobb - 09/08/2009 23:11 - Canada

Today, I saw my girlfriend with an older guy who I thought was her dad, I went over to introduce myself. And then turned around and walked away very fast as I saw them make out. My girlfriend is cheating on me with someone as old as my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 685

You deserved it 3 123

shananigans 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 9:51

I'm probably the only freak who thought the most interesting part of this FML was the OP's use of the word necking. Oh and your dad wins.

24788 6

Tuesday 12 January 2010 9:10

I don't know if I approve of you seeing this Jake guy in subject.

Comments

paprika_pilipili_fml 14

Sunday 9 December 2012 19:32

If I was you, I'd be happy my parents are still in love enough to make out like this... I think it's cute. ^_^

Duh_0811 17

Sunday 22 December 2013 3:21

was it Jake from state farm? and was he wearing khakis?

adamo_erebus 26

Tuesday 14 January 2014 14:45

bwahahaha, your dad is a legend. sure knows how to turn a situation around.

nick3600 22

Monday 20 January 2014 20:23

Keep your trap shut next time

LRSandTJB412 8

Friday 28 March 2014 9:37

Your parents are having sex in the living room while your home, that's where this is wrong lol. Bedrooms are in houses for more than one reason.

H3M1LY99 7

Wednesday 23 July 2014 5:56

necking? ......

princesstavi 17

Sunday 9 November 2014 20:17

What's necking?...

PikarooArtist 17

Tuesday 1 December 2015 4:40

Didn't know Jake from State Farm made house calls~

CantTouchThat 29

Friday 11 August 2017 18:27

You have the coolest dad that ever dadded.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 682

You deserved it 7 123

Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 86

The Top

Today, at a school function for my eldest son, my youngest child silently passed gas. A group of women I had hoped to befriend were sitting next to me, and then left with looks of disgust on their faces. I guess I don't need friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 246

You deserved it 1 839

Today, I showed up on set for a film that I booked a role in weeks ago. At the time of the audition, the script was being rewritten, so today I was so excited and eager to be told what my role would entail. When they handed me the script, my character was described as a fat, ugly, awkward girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 220

You deserved it 5 060

Today, being the class nerd hasn't stopped me from being naive: none of my so-called friends has talked to me since the last day of exams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 353

You deserved it 4 303

Today, I got my deposit back from my last apartment. The receipt is riddled with math errors. I'd told them I’m an accountant when I moved in, so I redid the receipt in my own time to see how bad they fucked it up. They owe me $400 more due to their mistake, and I’m sure I’ll never see any of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 88

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I heard a notification on my iPhone. I thought nothing of it until we were done, and then I checked it out. My mom had posted on my Facebook, telling me that if I didn't keep it down, she was going to come up to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 496

You deserved it 14 235

Today, I was reading a picture storybook to a kindergarten kid. She could pronounce more words than me, and corrected me. I'm about triple her age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 770

You deserved it 26 908

Same thing different taste

Method acting

Bigmouth strikes again

WTF? FML!

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