Intimacy: Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties...

By :x - 03/02/2016 15:40 - United States - Richmond

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 896

You deserved it 5 352

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Same thing different taste

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 659

You deserved it 9 502

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 902

You deserved it 6 672

Why would you do that?

By HughGorgy - 20/03/2009 05:37 - Canada

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 379

You deserved it 103 182

By Anonymous - 01/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Greenville

Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 036

You deserved it 1 735

Self-own

By Anonymous - 20/01/2021 08:01

Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 119

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 380

You deserved it 4 049

By UUUGHHH - 05/02/2016 20:33 - France - Villejuif

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 147

You deserved it 2 711

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 083

You deserved it 40 019

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 793

You deserved it 345

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 00:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 442

You deserved it 8 847

ananicosia 28

Thursday 4 February 2016 0:00

Time to educate your girlfriend on personal hygiene

spn_fanboy14 12

Wednesday 3 February 2016 23:59

Shit happens man.

Comments

hfslkp47012759 28

Thursday 4 February 2016 4:42

Wow, that stinks.

lostreality 3

Thursday 4 February 2016 4:46

I am so, so sorry bro

Love_L0ST 13

Thursday 4 February 2016 4:56

Are you sure it's shit stains and not previous period blood stains I noticed they sometimes look similar

killerparade 17

Thursday 4 February 2016 5:23

Is it just a period stain? Those are way different and way more unpredictable. If it is shit well then I'm sorry op.

BigbenMrJDM 12

Thursday 4 February 2016 5:33

Why would she even let you do that in the first place with shit stained panties?

heathersamommy 13

Thursday 4 February 2016 5:44

#lifetip if you shit your pants, don't let anyone else take your underwear off. Go home, wash your ass and throw them away

derpman123 17

Thursday 4 February 2016 6:05

**** dude I wish I had that problem

LoLoLibra1 14

Thursday 4 February 2016 6:06

I'm sure they were period stains & she was probably so caught up in the moment that she forgot she had on her old crappy ugly stained panties. I bet when she became aware of it she shit her pants...sorry...it was unavoidable - LOL ; ) But honestly...I have been in a situation where I ended up going to see my BF after work or something not expecting to 'get busy' & when you're not expecting it you may be wearing old/stained/bottom of the barrel panties. When you're in a moment of passion you're not thinking of details such as what underwear you're wearing until it's probably too late then if you do realize and suddenly stop cold then that's awkward and can cause an argument blah blah blah...you get my drift... BUTT if it is TRULY shit stains then that's gross & she does need to have a talk with someone regarding hygiene - FO SHO!