By :x - 03/02/2016 15:40 - United States - Richmond

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 896
You deserved it 5 352

Same thing different taste

Top comments

ananicosia 28

Time to educate your girlfriend on personal hygiene

Comments

To all of you saying it's period stains: isn't it just as likely that he used more than his sense of sight to ascertain this conclusion? Maybe once he broke the seal it reeked like a rancid diaper.

If she had shit herself recently, he would have noticed before trying to take her underwear down. That's the kind of stench that isn't contained by pants to begin with but the moment he removed the outer layer he definitely would have noticed the smell. Plus he said he encountered a stain, not a layer of actual shit. It is far more likely that she was wearing underwear that had been stained brown by period blood but the OP assumed it was a shit stain, than it is that he managed to undress her down to her underwear without noticing the stench of her having crapped her pants earlier in the day.

If she had a small bit of the down-town-brown left and missed it somehow he wouldn't have noticed the smell until he dove in, most likely.

He referred to it as "the mother of all shit stains" that doesn't seem like it would have been a "Little bit" of anything. Skid marks, which as I'm sure you know are actually the result of someone failing to wipe correctly, make underwear stink. If it was a new "mother of all shit stains" and not a stain from something that occurred before the underwear was last washed he would have definitely noticed the smell as soon as his head got anywhere near her lower half. There is no way he would have failed to notice actual shit on her underwear until after he had pulled her underwear far enough down, with his teeth, to see the inside of them unless he has zero sense of smell, which would be a bigger FML.

"Why is there so much shit, don't you wipe?" "Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to."

That's not natural, that's disgusting. It sounds like she's not cleaning herself properly.

kitsune309 15

This is why you ask the cutie before you touch the booty.