Miscellaneous: Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She... - FML

By shorty - 13/02/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said "Yeah, horizontally." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 768

You deserved it 6 967

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Same thing different taste

By yerface - 13/02/2009 03:52 - United States

Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 727

You deserved it 8 730

By Ohgodmother - 28/02/2014 09:06 - Australia - Hobart

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 395

You deserved it 3 992

By Ashy104 - 09/01/2010 05:36 - United States

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 781

You deserved it 26 351

Toxic

By Tiny - 29/07/2014 08:27 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 896

You deserved it 3 798

Short King

By Anonymous - 26/01/2022 08:01

Today, I'm a 5ft2 guy and I was at the seamstress's getting some dressy pants shortened for a wedding this week. She got it to the right length, then told me, "Don't worry, you're still growing." My dad started laughing, and she stared at me as I told her that I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 117

Unnecessary

By Ava K - 01/10/2019 16:02 - United States - San Diego

Today, my mom and I were looking at dresses for me at the mall. The cashier pointed out a dress, and my mom said, "She's definitely not going to fit into that. She's too flat-chested." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 565

You deserved it 171

By oshitdonotwant - 08/08/2009 13:42 - United States

Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 497

You deserved it 4 072

By Marteeny - 09/06/2016 03:14

Today, my mom said my boobs are finally getting bigger and that I've finally hit puberty. I'll be celebrating my 31st birthday next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 143

You deserved it 1 102

By Lax - 12/01/2009 09:37 - France

Today, my 5 year-old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked, "Mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 918

You deserved it 3 488

By Crampon - 27/03/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, I called my mom to tell her that I finally got my period. There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 812

You deserved it 25 006

Next

Top comments

Aethren 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 4:30

she saw you get a boner?

naza517 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 23:44

u guys r assholes..... u act like being fat is a ******* crime, yeah some ppl can stand to lose weight but it's ultimately up to them, don't need assholes like u to put them down as well

Comments

Creamysweeps 5

Monday 13 June 2011 11:18

lmfao

omgc 0

Friday 15 July 2011 12:55

brunt!

musicchick77 3

Wednesday 26 October 2011 7:03

My mom said the same thing..and laughed

jazziness 12

Saturday 5 November 2011 16:37

You're mom is hilarious!

eddyg94 11

Sunday 19 February 2012 1:12

why would you share clothes with your mother?

Wolfhaley 2

Friday 4 May 2012 1:45

LOL sorry but I giggled.

worldclassrager 39

Friday 17 January 2014 5:46

Every woman has an hourglass shape some just have more sand than others...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I discovered that whenever my house is affected by a blackout, the cooler for my Xbox will turn on by itself when it's fixed. My Xbox cooler flashes repeatedly, alternating between several bright colors, when it turns on. If I'm asleep when it happens, which is often the case, it wakes me up. Every. Time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 379

Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 136

You deserved it 72 916

The Top

Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 874

You deserved it 1 926

Today, a businessman in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 333

You deserved it 3 596

Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 828

You deserved it 45 421

Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 347

You deserved it 28 983

Today, I found out my 97-year-old Grandma has an imaginary 30-year-old boyfriend. I laughed until my mom said, "She's still doing better than you. You don't even have an imaginary boyfriend, let alone a real one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 172

You deserved it 10 050

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 654

You deserved it 3 118