By rejected - 02/10/2014 08:56 - United Kingdom - Harlow

Today, I thought I was finally over my anxiety problem, and confidently went to my first ever job interview. Halfway through, the manager tells me that if I didn't stop being so nervous, he couldn't give me the job. I cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 396
You deserved it 5 036

Same thing different taste

Top comments

jazmin3012 28

Aww OP! Don't feel bad for something that's out of your control!

Pretty unfair from his behalf. Hopefully it all works out though

Comments

I recently went through a long string of job interviews and, as someone who has had anxiety issues since I was a kid, I can tell you it will get better as you have more interviews. As someone else mentioned, if you interview for 2nd-choice types of jobs, you'll feel better about getting practice without putting too much pressure on yourself. For the first time in my life I started being able to calm down during interviews. I'm not saying your situation is identical to mine but you won't get better if you avoid it. But also, that guy was a total butt and there's no way you'd want to work for him anyway. I had a stressful boss during one of my worst anxiety phases and I cried at work, it was the worst, I wish I had known from the start how she was going to be so you dodged a huge bullet by him being a jerk to you!

Britt125 16

Fyl. That guy was a jerk, depending on the job I can't necessarily blame him for not wanting to hire people who are too nervous, like if it's working with the public or something and you're struggling in an interview I can kind of see why they might have concerns. But they should also expect people to be slightly nervous, most people are, and that some people will be more nervous than others and pointing it out isn't going to help anybody who's nervous. It's not like anybody chooses it and can just go "oh shit okay I'll stop now then, sorry." Maybe look into if there are any programs in your area that can help you prepare for the job search process, or even just the interview process. I have anxiety too and am looking at one of these programs in my area right now. Even trying to get into this is terrifying, but it not as terrifying as looking for a job and going to interviews that I'm not prepared for (granted I have to go to assessments for this and I'm not prepared, but at least I know they probably understand better than an employer would). We have tons of programs and workshops here ranging from a couple hour or day long workshops to courses that span several weeks; in all ages categories, and in age specific categories. I don't know what you have where you are, but it might be worth looking into.

driaa 15

I suffer from anxiety as well, and I was almost not given a job because I was "too nervous" but they went on to tell me "you're an amazing worker though". Sorry op, I know exactly what you've been through.

people without anxiety just have no idea what it’s like to feel so much worry for something they “think” is “so small” and “not a big deal”"

Everyone has been there where an interview went south due to nerves and usually its the first one too. My advice: Before you go on an interview hand the job description to a friend or family member and have them do a mock interview with you. Have them ask you basic questions that you would anticipate hearing in the interview (what are your strengths, what are your weaknesses, describe your past work and how it relates to this job, etc.). Doing this will allow you to get an idea of how you want to describe things in the interview and you can get valuable feedback on any body language or voice issues that you will want to watch out for during the real interview. As with anything else practice makes perfect for job interviews and the more you have the easier they get. Finally if you do feel nerves during an interview or you're grasping for words, its ok to take a second and take a deep breath to clear your mind. The interviewer will be more impressed by you being able to compose yourself than hearing you rush through an answer due to panic. Best of luck OP!

if you are a girl, then it's ok. if not, have a drink before you go next time.

No, it's perfectly fine for anyone to get so stressed out they cry sometimes. Sure, you should work on it, but there's nothing wrong with a guy crying from stress douche.

I am so sorry that happened. Crying at the wrong time in public is one of the worst feelings. 5 weeks ago, I moved 4 hours away from home for college, and I cried probably 4 times a day, every day, for 2/3 weeks. It was unbearable and I couldn't get it over control or understand it. I went into my college's psychological services and talked to a secretary and asked to talk to someone. She told me that I couldn't see someone today, because they usually start off your treatment with a 15 minute phone call to determine what you need most. And when she told me that I couldn't get help for another three days, I started crying. I felt terrible, and I hadn't eaten for five days, my insomnia kept me up at night, my anxiety caused my severe lack of appetite, and I spent most days crying, so I went through a week of severe depression. I finally started taking medicine and seeing a therapist. It's been 4/5 weeks and while there's been a handful of bad days, I feel absolutely great. If you can, I highly, highly suggest trying to take medication. Yes, some medications might have a negative effect on you, but there's other brands. And if it doesn't work, stop! therapy has really been helping too. I've made friends, found roommates for next year, started talking to guys, actually doing my homework, and eating, a lot. So please try and take care of yourself. I'm sorry about what happened in your interview, but it happened, and it's over. I hope things get better for you, and I'm sure you'll have many more opportunities for a great job.

Your boss is mean. You shouldn't work for him, end of story