Intimacy: Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little...

By -___- - 29/09/2013 19:46 - United States - Winfield

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 765

You deserved it 27 686

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Same thing different taste

By DreeStahr - 30/09/2016 04:05 - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 891

You deserved it 1 377

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 358

You deserved it 342

By SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! - 01/02/2015 16:17 - United States - Gurnee

Today, my Breaking Bad-obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks" during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 341

You deserved it 4 280

By fed up/turned off - 02/10/2013 05:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 527

You deserved it 6 785

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 16/01/2016 06:40 - United States - Denver

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 990

You deserved it 4 799

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 338

You deserved it 17 891

By princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 932

You deserved it 40 629

Do me

By noneofthesex - 10/02/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 525

You deserved it 12 148

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 504

You deserved it 6 853

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 066

You deserved it 7 760

hghrider123456 9

Monday 30 September 2013 1:55

He basically told you to go **** yourself....

norwegianboip 17

Monday 30 September 2013 1:54

Well.. It is the finale ..

Comments

commandercolbert 6

Monday 30 September 2013 4:48

is he gayy?

PieknyCzlowiek 7

Monday 30 September 2013 5:07

Finale or not, sex is better than any TV show. Yeah if he had tivo, record it but not everyone has that. Still, it would be on again tomorrow.

MRVOlivia 22

Monday 30 September 2013 5:09

But...It's Breaking Bad. I'd invite you over to come watch it together and then have sex. But Breaking Bad always comes first. Always.

RLD101 3

Monday 30 September 2013 5:15

wow...

asnakelovinbabe 16

Monday 30 September 2013 5:16

Some of us women always want to have sex too. It goes both ways... There will ALWAYS be a couple times when either partner just isn't in the mood or not feeling well. That is normal. But I do not tolerate when women are hypocrites and get mad at their man for saying NO once when they have made every excuse under the sun not to have sex. I have friends that are like that and it just gets under my skin big time. I feel that if you start to be repulsed by your lover - it's time to have a sit down and discuss what is going wrong. But back to the original post... I do agree that he was a dick (even though I did laugh a bit) and I have a strong feeling that it was said more jokingly and either the girl took it the wrong way, or she laughed but posted it on FML anyways because it was funny. My husband and I say things like this to each other constantly jokingly... We share a strange sense of humor.