Alcohol and Health: Today, I saw my dad chugging a beer in the garage. Why is that...

By Eric - 13/05/2011 02:19

Today, I saw my dad chugging a beer in the garage. Why is that so bad? He was hosting an AA meeting in the basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 628

You deserved it 2 895

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Z - 09/04/2011 22:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 444

You deserved it 3 031

By Forgotten - 06/09/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I decided to visit my dad. I haven't seen him in a while so I wanted to give him another chance to be an actual dad to me. Apparently, getting drunk and getting it on with his girlfriend while I was there was more important than spending time with his daughter, who he hasn't seen in almost a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 689

You deserved it 4 074

What the…?

By Anonymous - 05/02/2024 05:00

Today, my dad showed up at my house and offered to take me to my favorite restaurant. He drove me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He believes I only had my daughter, who I love with all my heart, because I drunkenly hooked up with a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 108

They tried to make me go to rehab…

By anon - 30/06/2016 17:33 - United Kingdom - Aberdeen

Today, my father got out of rehab for his alcoholism. This would be great if he hadn't started drinking the moment he got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 908

You deserved it 702

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 02:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I was confronted by my father after I got back home from a party in the early hours. He demanded to know if I'd been doing any drugs, and then decided to give me a scare lecture on the dangers of alcohol. I'd had a few beers. He had the smell of tequila on his breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 127

You deserved it 5 079

By Anonymous - 15/05/2015 23:55 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 732

You deserved it 2 377

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700

You deserved it 141

Bored

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 22:58 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, my alcoholic dad finally came to see to my last dance recital after years of never showing up to watch me. He got kicked out of the audience for snoring too loud. I could hear him from the stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 67

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:02 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 354

You deserved it 2 463

Anger management

By FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 652

You deserved it 3 394

blaine72 0

Friday 13 May 2011 9:04

haha first time I read this I saw the word 'hugging'. personally I prefer that version of it.

m0tl3ycru3 0

Friday 13 May 2011 8:57

getting hammered before AA, oh what a great idea.

Comments

coldspider3 6

Saturday 14 May 2011 0:13

FTW!!!!

maddogbball 0

Saturday 14 May 2011 5:30

what's AA ?

kingatowning 2

Saturday 14 May 2011 7:31

irressitable beer ftw

ericFKNspangler 0

Saturday 14 May 2011 9:48

Your dad is living the life of a rockstar vatican assassin.

davon_fml 0

Saturday 14 May 2011 18:00

It. Could be non alcoholic

13AlibiesETF 6

Sunday 15 May 2011 4:46

What's an AA meeting?

astriofou 0

Monday 16 May 2011 3:14

daddy just needs a fix to get through the meeting :3

shona4lyfe 5

Thursday 19 May 2011 8:57

wow. some cheaters never win!!!

Carlamc 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 9:46

Why am I laughing lol

iluvmusic8128 0

Saturday 18 February 2012 20:20

u shoulda taught ur dad better! lol

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The Top

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 621

You deserved it 6 968

Today, my mother-in-law called my boyfriend, who is four years younger than me, to try and persuade him to go to a funeral, because there would be cute girls there his age there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 84

The Top

Today, my mom asked me if I was a lesbian because I haven't brought a guy home in over 7 years. Nope. I'm just a crazy cat lady, minus the cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 782

You deserved it 1 171

Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 564

You deserved it 4 768

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 198

You deserved it 22 921

Today, I reached down to pet an elderly man's dog. It jumped up and utterly mauled my face, drawing blood. As I gasped in shock and pain, the man said, "Careful, he likes to scratch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 206

You deserved it 11 252

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 169

You deserved it 19 253

Today, after a conversation with my dentist on how to prevent further suffering, I realized that what is good for my teeth, my health, and my digestion are actually three different things that don’t offer much overlap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 102