Work: Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on...

By Anonymous - 18/05/2012 11:49 - United States

Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 050

You deserved it 2 750

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Same thing different taste

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 011

You deserved it 2 788

By helpme - 04/12/2013 04:05 - United States - Brockton

Today, I got a new chair at work. After spending 3 hours putting it together, I was called into my boss's office and let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 565

You deserved it 5 723

By shart - 09/03/2016 02:48 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I had an accident at work. Not the kind involving worker's compensation. The kind involving desperately scrubbing my office chair with paper towels, before going home to change my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 545

You deserved it 2 274

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 953

You deserved it 3 807

By badbowel - 31/01/2018 13:00 - United States - Utica

Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 853

You deserved it 296

By kbartlett86 - 24/06/2010 20:02 - Canada

Today, after sitting for hours at my desk, my legs fell asleep. When I got up to go to the bathroom on my break, I couldn't walk properly and leaned against things so I wouldn't fall over. My supervisor then came over and started lecturing me about being drunk at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 527

You deserved it 4 615

By Username - 21/03/2012 17:10 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 402

You deserved it 2 343

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 13:31 - United States

Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 322

You deserved it 1 817

By goldenshower - 05/02/2010 18:22 - United States

Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 494

You deserved it 56 484

By Umlungu23 - 18/02/2019 00:00

Today, during my lunch break, I sat on the manager's chair. As I sat down, I heard a snapping sound and I ended up on the floor. Everyone now calls me "the lumpy girl" who broke the manager's chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 043

You deserved it 436

KeannaLove 32

Friday 18 May 2012 16:28

He was just marking his territory.

hapetreefriend 1

Friday 18 May 2012 16:28

Ewwwww

Comments

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 18 May 2012 20:25

A faint taste in the back of your throat? Erm... Pavlovian arousal sensation?

EmptyTankOfLuck 0

Friday 18 May 2012 21:21

This reminded me of jackass 3, when Steve-O drinks Prestons Sweat

ddrocker23_fml 0

Friday 18 May 2012 21:46

bring an extra pair of pants. just in case. you never know.

MistaEnis 3

Friday 18 May 2012 21:59

Annnus juice

lolatyofail 0

Friday 18 May 2012 22:51

2 words Booty sweat

reddudeover 2

Friday 18 May 2012 23:03

76 - Not even close, it arouses the sensation of wanting to puke. Pavlovian or otherwise.

Eiregal2 10

Saturday 19 May 2012 0:02

oh good jebus! (yes I mean to spell it that way) it's very rarely an fml makes me pull a *ick * face,this is one of those fmls. oh ew, the thought of it makes my skin crawl!

lauragp09 5

Saturday 19 May 2012 4:02

Gross!!! Did it smell

tehdarkness 21

Saturday 19 May 2012 4:17

Swass

j_cat187 19

Saturday 19 May 2012 8:24

Must have been from the Chipotle he had for breakfast.

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The Top

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 753

You deserved it 3 574

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 943

You deserved it 46 021

The Top

Today, I had to work a double shift after my relief called in "sick" just so he could go to a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 881

You deserved it 2 563

Today, it's been 2 years of finally being on the right dosage of thyroid medication and going to the gym. I'm now 130lbs down from my heaviest weight. I just received an unprompted invite to be an event model at a local dungeon that only caters to fat fetishists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 178

Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 430

You deserved it 6 176

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 882

You deserved it 8 237

Today, I did my old "toe-touch" cheerleading move to try to impress my 5-year-old daughter. When I landed, I broke my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 945

You deserved it 26 140

Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 567

You deserved it 3 167

Same thing different taste

Fast and Furious

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