Miscellaneous: Today, I realized that the cashier at the liquor store and I... - FML

By alchy - 02/05/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, I realized that the cashier at the liquor store and I are already on a first-name basis. I just moved to this town a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 971

You deserved it 36 247

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

Office embarrassment

By mog - 07/11/2019 08:00 - United States

Today, the girl who works at the liquor store came to where I work. She recognized me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 429

You deserved it 874

Regular boozehound

By Matchtopia - 18/01/2012 00:21 - United States

Today, I was addressed by name by the liquor store clerk. I've never told him my name. He's just seen my ID many times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 265

You deserved it 30 223

A little drinky-drink problem?

By Anonymous - 26/12/2022 15:00 - United States - Newark

Today, a local liquor store gave me a holiday gift for being such a great customer. They're not the first ones to do so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 943

By Forgetable - 21/04/2011 05:27 - United States

Today, a coworker introduced herself to me and told me she hopes I enjoy my new job. We've worked in the same building for two years. I say hello every time I see her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 135

You deserved it 3 018

By Marty - 10/10/2017 13:00 - United States - Irving

Today, I bought a small bottle of liquor to share with my husband to celebrate our move. It took three hours at the store as the cashier, manager, GM, and a police officer checked my ID believing it was fake. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 175

You deserved it 304

By Cpt_Concerned - 22/09/2009 04:37 - Canada

Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 426

You deserved it 52 580

By piper55 - 10/05/2019 14:00

Today, for the first time in a month, I talked to someone in person besides my grandmother and my husband. It was a store clerk calling me "Miss" and asking if I was finding everything okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 304

By Anoymous - 18/09/2013 18:31 - Slovakia - Bratislava

Today, I started my new job. Only after I met my new boss did I realise I've met him before. He was at my friend's party last month, the only time in my life when I got so wasted that I danced on a table before puking on myself. He remembers me, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 212

You deserved it 12 045

The usual?

By Cian_1 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Herne Bay

Today, it has got to the point that I don't even have to ask for my booze in the local off-licence, they just hand me my bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 615

You deserved it 6 846

By Ezzie - 29/08/2018 03:30

Today, I got absolutely hammered and noticed this familiar-looking chick. I walked up to her and said, "Oh my god, I know I know you but I don't know where from." Looking annoyed, she replied, "We've worked together for months." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 2 833

Next

Top comments

Beebow_fml 5

Monday 2 May 2011 11:48

Get some self control

imnotcraZ 0

Monday 2 May 2011 12:46

Charlie sheen? is that you?

Comments

Yngve_fml 9

Monday 2 May 2011 18:57

Let me guess .. Your name is Apu Nahasapeemapetilon?

darren42 0

Monday 2 May 2011 18:59

hey congrats it took me a week and a half but ignore anyone that trys to tell you what to do on here. who are they too judge

lpspann87 0

Monday 2 May 2011 20:31

leggings are NOT pants. this never should have been an issue.

DIESINBLOOD 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 0:40

Wrong FML, brah.

s3xymoma 1

Monday 2 May 2011 22:03

hahhahha lol. good one.

niki74_fml 0

Monday 2 May 2011 22:05

seriously, don't drink. go to rehab or something cause you are addicted

lllaalaa 0

Monday 2 May 2011 22:44

Ahahah there's nothing wrong with that! I mean just because the author buys it a lot doesn't mean this person is the one drinking it ALL. Come on now(;

bigbisawesome 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 3:16

maybe u should wear some REAL PANTS and not freaking leggings u retard cuz leggings are something u wear underneath ur pants or with a skirt or shorts

DreaminOfMusic 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 3:33

I think you might have accidentally commented on the wrong FML

WallyTheWombat 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 18:42

I like how you're calling op a retard when you aren't even in the right FML.

DreaminOfMusic 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 3:31

INTERVENTION TIME!!!

laxgirl313 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 3:49

maybe he's just really friendly! but that is a short amount if time!

FBlaxer 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 4:43

i would say that you drink to much, but i dont wanna be hypocritical...

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The Top

Today, I've finally got my mental health under control after decades of flailing. I also started showing signs of Serotonin Syndrome, which is caused by my meds and could result in seizure and death. So my choices are the swirling void of depression or possibly just the void. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 92

Today, I was told by my sister over the dinner table that some guy is telling people I’ve had sex with him; that’s not even the worst part. He’s telling people my sister walked in. One, I haven’t talked to him in years; two, he’s really not my type, three, I’m in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 381

You deserved it 5 506

Today, my girlfriend hasn't spoken to me in a week, so I gave her a call. No reply. I texted her, and got a text back saying: "Sorry, dude. Better luck next time!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 188

You deserved it 2 536

Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 855

You deserved it 4 695

Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 076

You deserved it 2 787

Today, I found my son trying to comb his hair with scissors. He's the same kid who thought that if he ate toothpaste, he would never have to brush his teeth again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 077

You deserved it 5 370

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 743

You deserved it 3 459