Animals: Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when... - FML

By WickedLittleDoll - 01/12/2014 16:38 - United States - Laurinburg

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 638

You deserved it 8 882

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Vicious bastards

By Anonymous - 25/12/2020 22:01 - United Kingdom - Runcorn

Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 143

By Anonymous - 19/08/2011 15:08 - United States

Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 345

You deserved it 28 534

No bother

By Geese Ahoy - 14/11/2016 17:00 - United States - Elizabeth

Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 240

You deserved it 1 084

By fml...really - 27/11/2009 07:45 - United States

Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 469

You deserved it 4 101

By fuck teh poleese - 12/02/2012 21:50 - United States

Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 000

You deserved it 29 522

By SwordFish8 - 04/07/2009 21:56 - United States

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 868

You deserved it 64 533

Freakout

By Anonymous - 06/08/2013 06:19 - United States

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 284

You deserved it 9 787

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 681

You deserved it 5 350

By targe - 19/10/2011 09:40 - Australia

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 845

You deserved it 3 599

By Evil_Angel_90 - 10/09/2013 11:36 - Australia

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 019

You deserved it 6 256

Next

Top comments

johobus28 26

Monday 1 December 2014 22:37

I can totally imagine that haha "**** YOU GOOSE WHY ARE YOU A GOOSE!"

sorryheadphones 26

Monday 1 December 2014 22:44

*sits with pad and pen* "...and how does that make you feel?"

Comments

royal_ranger 12

Monday 1 December 2014 22:49

**** you goose!

thinblue32 15

Monday 1 December 2014 22:56

Haha yelling at the chick like in Friends. Calm down OP!

kerstileann 26

Monday 1 December 2014 23:10

I really dont blame you, geese are assholes.

Posthuman 26

Monday 1 December 2014 23:10

Give a goose a break. He's probably thinking right now "All I ever do is fly south for the winter and try not to get shot. Damn."

am_bugg 20

Monday 1 December 2014 23:26

"Damn goose stop goosing around"

ThunderTheRad 14

Monday 1 December 2014 23:33

Relatable.

SystemofaBlink41 27

Monday 1 December 2014 23:43

I wouldn't want to play 'Duck Duck Goose' with you ever... "Duck, Duck, GOOSE!!!" *hits head*

itwontvalidate 18

Monday 1 December 2014 23:54

don't take your anger out on an innocent goose, there's enough ppl out there who deserve some angry screaming!

hiholls 13

Tuesday 2 December 2014 0:11

Hilarious, is the only way I can describe this. Trust me I have also reached points where my anger has embarrassed me but this is just humorous :)

magic_lover423 10

Tuesday 2 December 2014 0:12

The struggle with anger issues. I was mad and kicked my wall and now it has two holes in it and yelled for telling my parents instead of hiding it. Then I got mad again and when outside and punched the punching bag trying to get away from my "pissyness"

1
2
3
4
5

Keywords

Awkward Love Relatable Students Work Racism Relationship advice Health Cheating Pregnancy Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Revenge Food Animals Cats Boredom Management Sexism Kids Parenting Parents Weird Miscellaneous Job interview Social Media Jealousy

The Top

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 681

You deserved it 7 123

Today, I tried to nicely talk to my daughter about her rapid weight gain. Having a family history of weight-related illness, I felt it was necessary. I offered to get thyroid tests, teach her to buy healthy food, and start routine exercise. She told everyone I called her a cow and had fat-shamed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 192

The Top

Today, a woman came into my work and yelled at me because no one told her the cake she had bought the week before was made of ice cream. She'd hidden it in the cupboard and it melted. I work in Dairy Queen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 466

You deserved it 2 572

Today, I took the kids I'm babysitting to the farm to feed the animals. They were a little scared of the llama, so I showed them how nice it was by feeding it a lot of bread. Then, as I was telling the farmer how I loved the llama and wanted to take it home, it spit grass and bread all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 89

Today, I told my boyfriend I'll be moving to a different state in a few months for a new job. He now refers to me as his "girlfriend for now". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 878

You deserved it 2 824

Today, going through my late grandmother's papers, I found out that my grandfather had never been in the Nazi party. The reason he was not allowed to work as a teacher was that he had never passed his university exams. He found an invented Nazi past less shameful than academic failure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 784

You deserved it 1 740

Today, a student's parent yelled at me because they had to pay for school equipment their son had stolen from my desk. Apparently, it's my fault because the item was just too tempting for him not to steal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 714

You deserved it 259

Today, I discovered my girlfriend of 5 years would rather split up than make any shred of effort to revive her utterly dead libido from the last 2 years. She promised the whole past month to make an effort, before admitting she never gave a shit when my patience with her ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 866

You deserved it 781