By foreveralone - / Monday 1 December 2014 14:37 / Australia - Fitzroy
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By  summer135790  |  15

Sorry op /: you'll find somebody, don't worry (:

  piff7  |  14

Personally I think the girls already had him pinned in the friendzone and couldn't imagine breaking him free and shoved him onto someone else to avoid awkwardness between them

By  BillMurray_fml  |  12

Ouch, thrice in one day? I don't know what to tell you, man.

  Vestin  |  18

For whatever reason, the FML community seems to champion helplessness in some instances. In this entry people who support OP get blasted with downvotes. This is because he had the courage to try three times. Had he given up after the first time, breaking into tears, people here would all go "Oh, you poor thing... Surely she's doing you a favor if she can't appreciate what a wonderful person you are!". The fact that he persisted in face of adversity, tried to win the affection of other people, disqualifies him. I believe this somehow ties back to how obsessed over sexual exclusivity this community is. Screw this guy for not committing to a relationship that doesn't even yet exist, right ;)?

  GreenReaper  |  12

Actually, it's downvoted because the OP is blaming the friend zone instead of considering the idea that maybe people don't want to go out with him because they don't like him in any way. Or maybe they're happy staying single.

  kristabelli  |  19

Is that "actually" why it's being down voted 88? Or are you "actually" just hypothesizing like everyone else?

  BillMurray_fml  |  12

88 please point out where I blamed the "friendzone. " Oh right, I didn't. I only commented on how being rejected 3 times in one day would suck. The reason OP asked 3 different girls out in such a short time is a different matter entirely.

By  un0m3  |  14

Strike one, two, and three. Sorry OP, work on your approach, and hopefully you'll score one day.

  un0m3  |  14

It wasn't meant to be crude or anything like that. I started with a baseball joke/analogy and wanted to finish with one. I guess it wasn't any good.

By  DenverTyrrell  |  13

Aww don't worry there's someone out there for you!

  Likian5  |  26

And you're ignoring the possibility that he asked out one girl, she said no and suggested girl #2, girl #2 said no and suggested girl #3 and she ALSO said no?

  wysteria14  |  17

That's exactly the point. If that's exactly what happened, he asked out those girls BECAUSE THEY WERE SUGGESTED TO HIM. He didn't ask them out because he had feelings for them, oh no. He asked them out simply for the purpose of having a girlfriend. If he truly had any feelings for any of them, he wouldn't be able to just move on to the next girl like that. He's not the type of guy anyone should seek out in a relationship, and he's certainly not someone who should be pitied for being turned down.

By  isabellasimone  |  18

Hey, you'll find someone better...which is a good thing! Forget about those girls!

By  Eleora  |  19

They probably had it all planned out and were just messing with you... Don't get discouraged though, OP! You have to remember that some girls can be vicious for no reason sometimes.

  foxwasalamb  |  24

i totally agree. how fuckin vicious to say no to someone you don't wanna date. like what the fuck. don't these girls know they're entitled to say yes, just because he asked?


  Eleora  |  19

Really? I'm so glad you agree...

If they set him up, to where they were just toying with him and his emotions, then that's what viscous.


  letmehavemytea  |  21

You're the stupid one here.

Just because no one wants to date him doesn't mean that there "vicious" or that they "planned it". No ones obligated to date someone they don't like.

Calm your shit.

  Eleora  |  19

I just said stupid because she said

I said "probably" and "if," meaning that they "could have" planned it to mess with OP. I never said that they have to say yes. "IF" they did set it up to where OP was turned down 3 times in a row, then that was mean. Not saying they did though.

My shit is calm.

  sturschaedel  |  27

I agree, OP had it coming. If a woman you are REALLY interested in rejects you, you don't just go running to her friend, you try really hard to change her mind, i.e. being charming, chivalrous and attentive to her and her ALONE.


@38 Actually, I LOVE the word friendzone. It's a pretty neat way to identify douchebags - if you think it exists, you're one of them. People who believe in the friendzone are people who need to assign blame. To them, 'rejection' damages their ego, so they use the term 'friendzone' to put the blame on the person rejecting them because they unfairly put them into a zone instead of considering them as a potential date.

  MrConcise  |  34

@41 - And it's not like women don't perpetuate the myth or anything. Honestly, people doing the rejecting are usually terrible at being honest about their feelings.

"I don't like this guy, how do I tell him I don't like him without hurting his feelings? OH, WAIT, I CAN TELL HIM HE'S JUST TOO GOOD OF A FRIEND TO RISK LOSING!"

Yes, the "friendzone" is only a tool for entitled men to save face, but let's not forget it's also used to save face by the women who think men are too fragile to hear the truth.


#47 I'm assuming you never had to reject someone who was interested in you. Even if it's a complete stranger, unless you're an asshole it's a pretty hard thing to do to someone because you KNOW you're going to hurt their feelings no matter how you phrase it. If everyone was painfully honest about it, the most likely thing you'd hear would be "Sorry, I don't find you sexually attractive." and that's pretty harsh. So a lot of people (men AND women alike) try to take the less hurtful route by saying "I don't see you as more than a friend.", which pretty much means the same thing.

  nicievans  |  9

#47. I think much of the negativity against the word 'friendzone' (and its variants) stems from misuse of the term.

Assuming the FML is the whole of the story, it doesn't meet the definition. OP doesn't mention any of these ladies stringing him along for money, companionship, yardwork, etc. He only states that he asked and they turned him down.

Does friendzoning exist? Yes. I've seen it. I've also seen the term used as an excuse for poor behavior and to milk sympathy for people who are incredulous that they have been rejected. People get rejected. Ugly people, pretty people, nice people, assholes - we all get rejected. Being turned down isn't the same as being friendzoned - you can be turned down without being used. Learning to accept rejection with grace is a mark of maturity.

  23lf  |  16

99% of the time, friend zone is a word disappointed guys use to make it sound like they didn't get rejected. If the girl has a boyfriend, that's more of a friend zone, so to speak.

  MrConcise  |  34

@63 - It's really not that hard to say, "Sorry, I don't feel the same way" or "I appreciate the thought, but no thank you". What happened to "you're not my type"? I guess using those makes me heartless because I don't try to sugarcoat things when I reject somebody.

  Lindeni_fml  |  2

The world he is looking for is "politically-correct rejected".
If you're saying to someone: "You're a really nice person but I can't date you because I know you too much and you are my friend" you have not really explained why you are rejecting the person. And this can leave a sentiment of frustration.

  capnbzarr  |  43

DING DING DING DING DING! We have a winner! I think most guys who claim they landed in the "friendzone" are fucking creeps who the girl just told "let's just be friends" because it's less scary than the alternative of saying "you're a creep" and spending the rest of her life worrying that he'll stalk, rape, and kill her. And I'm speaking as a guy who has been rejected, and deserved it.


105, ummmm, I hate to break it to you, but "I don't see you as anything but a friend/I prefer you as a friend/I don't want our relationship to change" actually *is* a perfectly rational explanation, and you are a bit of an asshole for feeling otherwise entitled to an intimate relationship. Sometimes you make a better friend than lover, and attempting to force it into a romantic or sexual relationship is creepy af

  sturschaedel  |  27

52 and 69: I didn't mean "try to change her mind" by being a loitering pest, follow her around wherever she goes and ask her out every day until she says yes, but since they seem to be friends or at least run in the same social circle, he could just be really attentive to her and make her feel special in a totally non-creepy way. And maybe, possibly, being wooed that way could lead to her changing her mind. Or not. But then at least he put a real effort in and she knows he was being genuine.

I'm a woman myself. If an aquaintance asked me out out of the blue and then went to my friends too, I wouldn't think the guy had any real interest in me as a person, only in someone possibly filling in the empty "girlfriend" position. If instead he made an effort to get to know me better and being really chivarous and attentive (being able to hold a longer conversation, noticing my empty glass and offering to get me something from the bar, remembering my hobbies and interests and surprise me with a little token in relation to them some other time) would make me feel special and interesting and would in turn make it more likely that I could be interested in a relationship with that guy.

  deloria_fml  |  22

No, you don't. You respect her answer and move on. If you're willing to try to change her mind about her no here, where else would you do it? How can she trust you to respect anything she says? Would you try to pressure her into sex if she clearly didn't want to have it?

  Mr23  |  9

There's no one opinion on this. I've seen several relationships start as friendships, where He was persistent and She wanted to keep him as a friend (note about this: if you'd help someone move (or with homework or what have you), but, if you're being honest, you wouldn't expect them to return the favor (in the same way) chances are you're NOT friends.)
On the other hand, I've heard enough stories about "that stalker, [Name], who won't leave me alone".

  sturschaedel  |  27

#149 Seeing as she suggested for him to go to her friends and he did, she probably doesn't think he is really interested in her. Wooing her should ensure that she does know he is sincere within a couple of weeks. If then, with that knowledge, she still says no, then of course he should respect that and move on, not persue her for months or years.

By  EJSwank  |  14

It's almost impressive. They probably all planned on doing just that to you. Don't worry bud. You'll find someone.

By  devilsADD  |  7

I know how you feel op. but I think this is a perfect opportunity to focus on other important goals in life. Those who push for a relationship that shouldn't be, often just hurt themselves.


Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

  Axel5238  |  29

Maybe the better question would be then what are you doing in those minutes of meeting you they decide that? They might just not find you attractive,not like your sense of humor,not looking or any number of reasons. If disappointment about getting turned down in a few min is a thing maybe you've gotten a reputation for considering every woman as a potential option and that's been passed around through friends.

  killerdana  |  19

Maybe op shouldn't have asked out three girls who all apparently knew each other the same day. Sounds like he's more interested in being in a relationship than who he's in a relationship with. I dated someone like that, it sucked.

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