Animals and Sports: Vicious bastards

Vicious bastards

By Anonymous - 25/12/2020 22:01 - United Kingdom - Runcorn

Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 143

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Same thing different taste

By SwordFish8 - 04/07/2009 21:56 - United States

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 868

You deserved it 64 533

By Anonymous - 09/09/2011 13:36 - United States

Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 073

You deserved it 4 258

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 03:59 - United States

Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 278

You deserved it 2 898

By Rizma - 27/11/2014 15:12 - France - Grâces

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 978

You deserved it 4 567

Bad boy

By Dammit - 31/05/2023 17:02 - United States

Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 104

By WickedLittleDoll - 01/12/2014 16:38 - United States - Laurinburg

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 638

You deserved it 8 882

Run for your life

By I Don't Exorcise - 10/05/2012 03:34 - United States - Shawnee

Today, I realized I was getting a bit chubbier than usual. I decided to go for a little jog to stay in shape. Little did I know, my neighbors that just moved in brought along with them, a fully grown German Shepherd. Not tamed. My "jog" quickly turned into a "sprint for my life". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 222

You deserved it 3 041

By Evil_Angel_90 - 10/09/2013 11:36 - Australia

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 019

You deserved it 6 256

By anyonmus - 12/04/2013 00:59 - United States - Westminster

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 271

You deserved it 9 701

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 03:07 - United States

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 436

You deserved it 4 333

tounces7 27

Friday 25 December 2020 23:15

Did you thank the Goose afterwards and offer to hire him as a personal trainer?

KingAdrock 16

Saturday 26 December 2020 8:58

Geese are demons.

Comments

tounces7 27

Friday 25 December 2020 23:15

Did you thank the Goose afterwards and offer to hire him as a personal trainer?

KingAdrock 16

Saturday 26 December 2020 8:58

Geese are demons.

IHaveThePower 16

Wednesday 5 October 2022 4:49

Okay SO, if you see a goose, follow these steps: 1. Stop running 2. Walk CALMLY around the goose, keeping away far enough so the goose doesn't start flapping their wings or hissing 3. Proceed on your merry way. Geese are pretty chill--you just have to stay far enough away so they know you aren't gonna fight them, and not run straight at them. Animals can't really tell what humans are doing, so if you just give them some space, they'll leave you alone every time. I've had geese walk right up to me to eat some grass near me before because I don't flap around or run. They really won't bug you unless you bug them. Don't go near squirrels or chipmunks, though. Those are tiny demons in fursuits.