Geek: Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I...

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 17:55 - United States

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 291

You deserved it 56 110

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Same thing different taste

By Laughluv - 02/01/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 807

You deserved it 36 841

By bieberyoulittleSHIT - 31/08/2012 19:20 - United Kingdom - Goole

Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 601

You deserved it 29 580

By fuck teh poleese - 12/02/2012 21:50 - United States

Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 000

You deserved it 29 522

By fuck you, jack - 04/03/2014 20:44 - United States - Peabody

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 245

You deserved it 3 296

By Anonymous - 29/06/2013 14:57 - United States

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 622

You deserved it 39 816

By TBaggins00 - 21/06/2009 07:34 - United States

Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 246

You deserved it 61 648

By RandomMe - 26/02/2016 08:00 - Cambodia - Sihanouk

Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 687

You deserved it 11 946

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 12:00

Today, I was making one of those microwavable pizza kits. Realizing I had no crushed red pepper to put on it, my mom suggested using a chili pepper she had dried. Thinking it was a great idea, I cracked it open on my pizza and out popped some fuzzy white mold and two maggots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 254

Freakout

By Anonymous - 06/08/2013 06:19 - United States

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 284

You deserved it 9 787

By kumbuck3t15 - 29/07/2012 20:20 - Mexico - Distrito Federal

Today, I decided I need to get a life. I reached this epiphany when I failed to take notice of my friend calling me, until he started calling out my Xbox gamertag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 528

You deserved it 25 893

null_fml 11

Sunday 14 November 2010 0:07

So you're a spawncamper? ...I hate you.

Fichael 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 0:23

don't feel bad I've been throwing stuff at ppl thinking I'm using a tomahawk

Comments

nikkamad 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 3:37

LMFAO

F_U_imcrippled 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 3:47

I know I play too much COD yesterday while I was at the park I killed 3 people and then got mad because I couldn't find the remote for my UAV.

Judus_beej 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 3:48

does no one go outside and enjoy the weather anymore?

simple_idiot_6 6

Sunday 14 November 2010 3:52

Lmao. I have those moments too, except for with L4D.

ninjascifi 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 4:00

sounds like me

CACC_fml 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 4:05

fake

Cocomonster 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 4:08

Ydi for not playing lost planet.

Cocomonster 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 4:10

because COD is crap

Tmoney541 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 4:21

hahaha dude I think everyone plays to much and wow that is pretty funny

swatay27 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 4:25

I play cod to much too and get yelled at for it

FML858 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 4:44

LOLOLOL OH GOD

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The Top

Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 390

You deserved it 277

Today, I lost all hope of finding a man. I’m gonna be 34 and I can’t get a date to save my life. I was cursed with a facial deformity and 285lbs of weight, making all men run for the hills. All of my younger sisters have got married and started families. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 209

The Top

Today, my brother decided our bathroom needed a clock so he used an old DVD player. He put it on the edge of the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 355

You deserved it 3 834

Today, I decided that I need to lose weight when I discovered I could no longer chew on my own toenails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 1 505

Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the checkout line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was OK. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 859

You deserved it 8 291

Today, I had to try to convince my roommate that, yes, you do need to use dish soap when you hand wash dishes because of bacteria in old food. She still won't believe me, insisting that, "There's no such thing as bacteria in food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 646

You deserved it 1 612

Today, after expressing some of my reservations about the amount of work I have to do to accomplish my thesis on time, my graduate advisor compared my search for knowledge to Tom Hanks's odyssey in the movie "Castaway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 925

You deserved it 4 162

Today, a freshman set off the fire alarm in my dorm at 2 a.m. He tried to microwave Easy Mac without adding water. I had to stand outside for 45 minutes while the firemen moved the noodles to the sink and ran cold water over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 307

You deserved it 2 425

Same thing different taste

Freakout

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