Intimacy: Today, I realized how much I hate my apartment. Not only can...

By Steph - 21/06/2009 12:05 - Bulgaria

Today, I realized how much I hate my apartment. Not only can I hear my creepy upstairs neighbor having sex with random hookers every few night, I can also hear him everytime he takes a shit. I honestly don't know which is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 424

You deserved it 3 271

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Friends theme music plays

By Anonymous - 24/06/2020 05:01

Today, I realized that having the apartment bathroom next to my bedroom space isn't so great and convenient when it's occupied by my evil roommate, Fartzilla. I hear every constipated grunt, despite having music turned up. Worse, it's like living next to a poop-pourri factory. Nose bleach, anyone? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 177

STOP!

By Anonymous - 28/09/2021 20:00

Today, for the second week in a row, I woke up to the sound of my awful upstairs neighbors having sex between the hours of 1 and 3 AM. Their bed is so noisy, and earplugs barely help. At this point, based on the rhythm of their bed squeaking, I can tell when they're about to finish, and I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 650

You deserved it 151

Cursed buildings

By investing in earplugs - 23/02/2022 05:59

Today, sick of the unfiltered noise we hear from our neighbours in our upstairs apartment, as we're above their fence line, we signed the lease on an apartment downstairs. While I was downstairs, my partner clomped upstairs, opened the bathroom door, and took a piss. I heard EVERYTHING. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 306

By ineedsleep - 30/10/2014 14:15 - Finland - J?rvenp

Today, I found out that there's a very loud and frisky couple living above my bedroom, and a family with a crying baby living above my living room. At this rate, I'll end up sleeping in the bathtub in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 697

You deserved it 2 752

Gentrification strikes!

By Anonymous - 05/03/2020 06:01

Today, I actually can't choose what's worse, hearing my direct neighbour having really loud sex on a regular basis, including furniture breaking, or hearing people cheering and playing the piano in the same room. Upper-class fantasy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 412

You deserved it 237

Neighbors from hell

By Anonymous - 29/05/2023 06:00 - United States - Collegeville

Today, and intermittently ever since I moved in, the guy who lives in the apartment next to me keeps having loud sex with his hookup of the week, while I’m trying to watch TV, eat dinner, etc. I can’t even complain about him to my landlord. Why? The noisy guy is my landlord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 168

The sound of silence

By hearing too much - 03/11/2019 02:00

Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 773

You deserved it 224

By holler - 15/09/2011 04:22 - Japan

Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 158

You deserved it 3 152

By op-poopy - 22/04/2011 14:26 - Canada

Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 053

You deserved it 2 595

Time to move out

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 08:01

Today, I'm spending $1,400 on rent each month to hear my upstairs neighbor walk from one end of their apartment to the other, and then back again. This occurs pretty much all day and all night. Yesterday I woke up at 3:30 a.m. from the banging of steps. My other neighbor played his music so loud, I felt it through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 454

You deserved it 151

purple_riot 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 20:12

What about when the hookers take a shit?

heatherrrx 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 20:09

Move out! Plain and simple. Either that or report him because prostitution is illegal, so maybe he'll get thrown in jail and he won't bother you anymore.

Comments

chapmmel 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 21:17

LOL THAT IS HILARIOUS and yes, follow #28's advice.

crazysk8guy 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 21:17

i used to have a problem like this, only it was little kids that jump and cried all day and the mom talk on the phone on her porch until like 5 am and somtimes u could hear her masterbating

Ipreferbroccoli 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 21:24

Wow, Bulgaria. At least you have beautiful sea. Sičko e dobro. I really don't know bulgarian lol but I think you understood me. Good luck with finding a better appartment. :/

6daysoverdue 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 21:45

what is with people trying to speak the language certain people come from when they obviously speak English..? I just don't get it. anyhoo OP, from experience, an eye for an eye thingo works best here. My friend's neighbor have been begging him to turn down his music for the past half year. Did not and will never work. He blasted music when my friend stops blasting his (beauty sleep time) My friend got a bose headset after a few days. ah... music heals...

xHaniffax 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 21:48

The sex is worse because it's reminding you that you're not getting any.

spamuella 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 22:30

maybe just move to a different room in the building as long as the building is alright just move away from that room. if the building is crappy just move to another apartment building!